Give 'Em What They Want

The recent referendum creating Miami-Dade County is just the latest sign the area is suffering from an identity crisis worse than Sally Field's in Sybil. While the county government proffers the Miami moniker as an all-purpose consumer label, many residents would be hard-pressed to describe themselves as typical Miamians. It's not surprising, once you consider the steady migration of the nation's population to the Sunbelt and that nearly half of all Miami-Dade County residents were born outside of the United States.

While the sparring between the county's two demographic heavyweights, the Anglos and Hispanics, continues, South Beach's Area Stage weighs in with its hilarious production of Rum & Coke, which makes the case that no one cares about an ethnic label nearly as much as about being pegged for a fatso, loser, uncaring offspring, or career failure.

Performing the one-woman show she wrote, double-threat Carmen Pelaez beguilingly transforms herself into six characters in search of an identity. In monologues containing the funniest lines I've heard on stage in years, she portrays half a dozen women, four Cuban-Americans and two who remain on the island. Over the course of her uninterrupted, 70-minute tour de force, Pelaez weaves the women's personal hopes together with the Cuban exile community's quest for a free Cuba until it's impossible to discern which one serves as a metaphor for the other.

Clad in black pants and a chartreuse shirt worn over a black tank top, Pelaez dispenses with costume changes and props as she spins her yarns from the archetypical storyteller's front porch handsomely provided by set designer Joe Adams. In the background, lighting designer J.C. Rodriguez's moonlit leaf shadows spill over the façade of a Spanish-style house.

Bounding onto the stage, strutting her stuff like a runway model, Pelaez as 22-year-old Camilas takes time off from her dishwashing job at the Fashion Cafe to explain that, like the owners of that hot spot, she too is headed for supermodel stardom. What the world of high fashion needs is a plump Hispanic to add a little "mambo chunk in the funk," she says. Practicing her pouts she adds, "This is my 'I've got a little secret, and I'll tell you if you're good' look." She's also trying to lose her virginity to gain that cover girl allure.

Whether she's trying to land a man or a modeling gig, Camilas has figured out that the key to success is simple: "I've got to be able to be what everybody wants." In her personal journey to discover who that is, Camilas serves as the show's guide, leading us to the other characters, beginning with her bubble-headed roommate Juana.

Despite telling Camilas that she is going to find someone who loves her for herself, Juana makes it clear that she defines herself by the men she is able to attract. Describing a disastrous club experience with a man who briefly made her feel classy, Juana squeals, "He's going to graduate school. Do you know what that means? He's going to graduate!"

These girls are trying to measure up to what they believe is required of beauties and lovers. Two other Pelaez characters demonstrate that it is just as hard to seek validation from country and family. Camilas' grandmother, Alicia, is a Cuban exile who spends her time protesting Castro's regime with prayer vigils and a hunger strike, which she carries out in shifts. ("I'm here to protest starving in Cuba, not to show how it's done," she reasons.) In between chanting slogans, she recalls the years she was separated from her husband and five children, who fled to the U.S. before she did.

Another woman, Iluminada, an earthy type who performs Santeria on Tuesdays and Thursdays and does manicures the remaining weekdays, continues to be haunted by her failure to visit Cuba to see her father one last time before his death. Reading Camilas' fortune in the cards, Iluminada urges her client to go to Cuba and visit Camilas' 86-year-old great-aunt Ninita while she can.

Nervous that Cuban police will invent a reason to arrest her the minute she steps off the plane, Camilas nonetheless makes her first trip to Cuba, where she is fed rations and family anecdotes by Ninita, whom she refers to as a "four-and-a-half-foot History Channel." While there, she also meets Rum & Coke's last two women, who pin their dreams on careers when Castro is gone.

Kicked out of the ballet at twelve due to her dark complexion, Nikita ended up walking the streets two years later. Now, at seventeen, the nearest she gets to playing a prima ballerina role is when she assumes the attitude of a distressed damsel in a come-on to a rich tourist. Sure that one day she will trade in her stiletto heels for toe shoes, she determines to stick it out, as does Nena, a former headliner at the fabled Tropicana. Now working as a ladies' room attendant, after being accused of subversion, Nena wonders "If Miami is so good, how come all the Cubans are trying to get back here?" and tells of giving up her chance on a raft because she could only be happy starring at the Tropicana.

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