Yeah, Right, Einstein!

"A man walks into a bar." Standup comics have launched into routines with that line so often that it's no surprise comedian-turned-movie-actor Steve Martin chooses the same set-up to fuel the many laughs in his first effort as a playwright. Only in the case of Picasso at the Lapin Agile, the man walking into a Paris bar is Albert Einstein.

The touring production of the successful off-Broadway comedy is currently at the Parker Playhouse in Fort Lauderdale. At the end of the month, it will move on to Palm Beach's Royal Poinciana Playhouse. Martin's "what-if" tale imagines a fictional meeting between the brilliant German physicist who changed our understanding of the world and Pablo Picasso, the innovative Spanish artist who revolutionized the way we view it.

It's 1904, and both men are in their twenties, on the threshold of their creative breakthroughs. The future Nobel Prize-winning scientist is one year away from publishing five papers on quantum mechanics, which include his formula establishing that mass is a form of energy, E=mc2. Picasso, meanwhile, is stuck in his "blue period," a literal reference to the color used in his works. In three years he will finish his groundbreaking Les Demoiselles d'Avignon, which will lead him toward cubism and the development of the abstract art movement.

In his 90-minute play, presented without an intermission, Martin adds nothing to our historical knowledge of the pair's early lives. What he does provide is a fun-filled visit with a couple of wild and crazy guys who are just as interested in picking up girls as changing history. Martin's quirky blend of fantasy and reality is neatly tied together by director Randall Arney, who guided the 1993 Chicago premiere as well as subsequent productions in Los Angeles, San Francisco, off-Broadway, and Tokyo.

Scott Bradley, another veteran of the American productions, is also on hand with a compact, yet evocative, touring set of mismatched bar tables and stools placed in front of a gleaming dark-wood bar that runs the width of the stage. A sign under the proscenium announces that we are in the Montmartre bistro Lapin Agile, which the real-life Picasso frequented. Short of cash, the young artist once painted a canvas to settle a bar bill there.

On this particular day, a first-time visitor shows up. Einstein (Mark Nelson) is a lowly 25-year-old patent office clerk looking for a beautiful redhead who promised to meet him at the Bar Rouge. An unlikely ladies' man, the pragmatic Einstein decides he may as well hang out at the Lapin Agile. "I'm a theorist, and the way I see it," he explains to Freddy (Ian Barford), the bar's owner, "there is as much chance of her wandering in here accidentally as there is of her wandering into the Bar Rouge on purpose."

When Freddy and waitress Germaine (Kimberly King) catch him scribbling in a notebook, they peg him for another fledgling novelist and press him for the name of his book. Einstein replies "The Special Theory of Relativity. Catchy, yup?"

In that paper, published in 1905, the real-life Einstein suggested that time and motion are relative to the observer. But, as played here, Einstein is a phenomenon from any perspective. Nelson picked up an Obie Award for his performance in the New York production, and, on one level, he conveys everything we expect in a young Einstein; he's quixotic and lightning fast. But this tour-de-force performance also suggests that Einstein was a man who giggled at the thoughts in his head while remaining keenly interested in those around him. In the play, consequently, no one can resist his gravitational pull.

Soon Einstein is helping Freddy with the bar accounts, in one case untangling a hilarious word problem involving a wine shipment. He even agrees with the elderly lecher Gaston (Jim Mohr) that all wine should go for the same price, because it gets you equally drunk. When Sagot (Ken Grantham), an art dealer, arrives looking to score a few cheap paintings from starving artists, the patrons debate over the dreadful landscape painting behind the bar.

Far from dreadful is the beautiful Suzanne (Susannah Schulman), who, in front of the astonished barflies, changes into a sexy camisole and settles in to wait for Picasso to show. When Einstein asks if she actually knows the painter, she sighs and says, "Twice."

Fascinated by her tales of Picasso's passion for "seeing things that can't be named," Einstein can't wait to meet a fellow genius. The feeling turns out to be less than mutual when the 23-year-old Picasso (Paul Provenza) finally arrives, looking for women. Best known for his standup monologues on talk shows, Provenza amusingly plays Picasso as an egotistical Latin lover who uses his artistic abilities as a come-on to seduce Parisian beauties.

Picasso eventually turns his attention to the new competition. He is sure of his place in history and more than a little put off by the spike-haired egghead who thinks that science is more important than art. After some verbal jousting, the two square off like Wild West gunslingers and pull pencils out of their pockets. Yelling "Draw!" they attack scraps of paper. "This will change the world," Picasso says of his quick sketch. "Oh, and like this won't?" Einstein retorts, his famous formula in hand.

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