There's tragedy, when an old fisherman loses his son to the fish. There's a noble sacrifice at the finale, and here, too, the brave heroine survives her ordeal at sea because, well, because she hangs on.

But what, you may ask, about the noble, heart-lifting romance of Titanic? Piranha II has plenty. First of all, the central characters are involved in a romantic triangle. The pretty marine biologist is separated from her husband, the police chief of the island. There's a guest at the resort who's trying like crazy to romance her. It turns out that this guy has a dark side, and he knows more than he's telling; yet he emerges as strangely sympathetic -- a level of character complexity never aspired to in the creation of the storybook lovers played by Leo and Kate.

Innocent storybook romance does have its representatives in the film, however. The marine biologist and the cop have a son, and he ends up stranded with the pretty daughter of the yacht owner for whom he's crewing. At the height of the crisis, the girl breathlessly says, "We're lost... lost at sea! How romantic!"

How much more Titanic could dialogue get?

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