Shop Till He Pops

"Want something for him?" Deborah Kirkpatrick asks the crowd at this all-female shopping party. "Noooooo!" comes the giddy response.

But when Kirkpatrick mentions oral sex, the ladies are definitely interested. "Tired of giving BJs?" she asks. "Say hi to Lori. She'll do it for you." Amid the laughter, Kirkpatrick holds up "Lori," who looks like a rubber sock puppet with lips. While on the subject of male-stimulation products, Kirkpatrick displays a green, silicone-gel blob designed to be wrapped around the male member. She calls it "Flubber" because of its resemblance to the goop in the Robin Williams flick of the same name. Of course, this Flubber warrants an "R" rating -- at least.

So do some of the other products peddled at home parties like this, during which ladies eat, drink, and merrily shop for grown-up playthings in a friend's living room. Kirkpatrick is a sales representative and manager at Toys For Lovers, a Pompano Beach store that has been selling adult merchandise Tupperware-party-style for about 20 years.

Sometimes couples attend these events, but Kirkpatrick usually plays to a crowd of women, as she's doing tonight at this Deerfield Beach condo, where edible oils and nubby toys are spread across the coffee table. The spunky bunch of guests, primarily women who work together in phone sales, eagerly await information about products that can jazz up their sex lives -- with or without partners.

Kirkpatrick pitches various lotions and oils before sending sample jars into the crowd so that the ladies can dot the flavored, yummy-smelling products on their hands and sniff or taste them. Body Butter, Kirkpatrick explains, must be tested in a certain way for full effect. She opens a jar and directs the women to "dip the dick," which she familiarly refers to as "Bobbitt" (ouch! sorry, guys), an eight-inch dildo.

Toys like Bobbitt are also handy for keeping busy during traffic jams, Kirkpatrick says. Or if a carjacker approaches, "you can shake it at him," she suggests. Depending on the carjacker, this could be good or bad advice.

Around the room the products go. The handcuffs decorated with fake fur. The silky powder whisked on with a feather duster. Body glitter in four colors. Checking it all out, the ladies are loud and playful. A longhaired blond woman named Michelle applies gold glitter to her chest and happily shows off the sparkly effect. Another guest calls out, "Where do we get the cleavage from?"

Kirkpatrick does sell pushup bras, but at the moment she's showing off the Wascally Wabbit, a shaft-shape toy with multiple moving parts. One woman stands up and gives her personal endorsement of satisfaction. Kirkpatrick adds, "It does everything but take out the garbage."

The edible products in Kirkpatrick's display include a male stimulant lotion available in banana and bubble gum flavors. "I don't need that," one woman says with a wry smile. "He's always up to it. The deflator is what I'm looking for."

After the demonstrations are over, Kirkpatrick sets up shop in another room to take orders in private. In the living room, the women continue to inspect the goods. Some sit on the couch, checking out a deck of cards featuring nude men. A few women browse through a rack of lingerie. Others try to slide Flubber over Bobbitt.

"We had a riot," Melissa, age 23, says later. "It gets your imagination going."

And the party atmosphere got the money flowing. All but a few of the 25 women placed orders, spending a total of about $1300.

-- Patti Roth

Toys For Lovers, 590 SW Ninth Ter., Pompano Beach, books private home parties. For more information call 954-782-4224.

 
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