Calibrations
Spawn of Jerry Lee Lewis and Courtney Love
And finally, the last time I checked, local bombshell rock violinist Randi Fishenfeld needed a new pair of leather pants. I would very much like her to have those pants, and I would like them to be as formfitting as possible. Further I would like Randi to drop by my apartment and model her new leathers for me at my every convenience. If she shows up drunk and silly, all the better.
OK, Santy, that's it for this year. I'll consider it a worthwhile expenditure of the time it took to write this letter if you fulfill just one of my wishes. Of course with your track record, I'm sure that's asking for far too much. In any event have a fine Christmas, you demented old loon.
Yours in the loving spirit of the season,
The Calibrator
Send your holiday cheer to Calibrations, P.O. Box 14128, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33302 or e-mail David_Pulizzi@newtimesbpb.com.
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