Murphy's Laws

Instead of a peaceful condo, Harry Murphy has a political war, racial controversy, and a slew of lawsuits

A A A Comments By Bob Norman Thursday, Mar 8 2001

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One Wednesday morning last month, Mark Lamson stood outside the condo clubhouse at 8 a.m. clad in his Office Depot work shirt and cap. Keys dangled from a chain outside his pocket. On a typical morning, he would have been at work by then, and his seven-year-old son would have been in school. But instead his son was watching television, and he was waiting for Murphy.

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A van that Lamson had hired from Budget-Rent-A-Car had been towed overnight. A security guard, who acts on Murphy's orders, deemed it a commercial vehicle, which Murphy will tell you is a no-no. The condo rules seem to change every year, Lamson said. Murphy recently fined him for trash on his patio. "When he comes up and starts hassling you, you just try to ignore him," he added.

After about 15 minutes of waiting, Murphy rode up in the condo golf cart with a maintenance man.

"I ain't got no time for this bullshit," Murphy said as he exited the cart and approached Lamson. "This whole place ought to motherfuckin' fold. This whole fuckin' place ought to just go under."

Murphy then eyed Lamson. "You don't give a shit about this place, do you?" Murphy angrily asked before launching into a curse-laden rant, in which he discussed Carney, "Cornelius Blane," alcoholics, rules, racism, rednecks, and "fuckin' Alabama and Mississippi bullshit." Murphy then led Lamson, who calmly endured the verbal onslaught, into the clubhouse and showed him some Polaroids of the Budget van in question.

"Here's the pictures," Murphy said. "This is a Budget van with writing on the side. That's a commercial vehicle, and it stinks, period. There's people out there getting lawyers. And the thing about condo commando? If I wouldn't have gotten on this board, this goddamn place would have gone a long time ago. Why ain't you never been on the board?"

"I don't have time to be on the board, Harry," Lamson answered.

When it was over, Lamson just smiled helplessly and shook his head. Then Murphy offered him a ride to pick up the van. As they left the complex, the flowers were beautiful, as always, and the place was deathly quiet and orderly, just the way condo folk like it.