Impotent Response

Is this play rude, crude, and offensive? Yes, and not in a good way.

Dauw explains that one of his goals was to give roles to both men and women. Nice idea, but Queen Bee is not a developed female part. She is basically a straight man for Dr. Love's raunchy jokes. Every few minutes she squares her shoulders, crosses her arms over her chest like a Camille Paglia superhero, and says things such as "Men are pigs" or "Alimony and matrimony -- have you ever noticed they both end with money?"

Women can be relieved to know that Queen Bee is not their only representative. Add to that a model in a swimsuit (Jillian Niccloy), who has a walk-on part that consists of holding one of various signs printed with a phrase or word like "Circumcision," doing a pivot, and walking off-stage. "Is this a boxing ring or a theater?" I hear an audience member whisper. At one point Dr. Love picks up a huge inflated penis and chases her off the stage; when he returns to the stage, the penis prop is a deflated mass of flesh-color plastic in his hands. For those readers who might be wondering, this is not a parody. Perhaps it's the fatal trinity of naming oneself writer, actor, and producer, but Dauw's valid concept has gone awry and is agonizing to witness.

The play was performed by Dauw and Doe until the good doctor was unexpectedly called back to Chicago for unknown reasons, and actors David Sayh and Lisa Boggio stepped in to fill the parts. Jane Doe explains that Sayh has incorporated some of his own work into Dauw's script, which explains the string of Jewish jokes delivered in the style of Henny Youngman or Milton Berle. Instead of "Take my wife, please," we get one-liners like, "You know how hard it is to find a Jew who is good with his hands." Despite having their eyes glued to teleprompters much of the time, Sayh and Boggio still manage to lose themselves completely in long pauses and awkward silences, at which times Sayh jumps in with a joke.

Alvaro Diaz-Rubio


Through July 1, 954-438-7114
Museum of Art Auditorium, 1 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale

The disturbing thing about The Penis' Responses to the Vagina Monologues is not that it's a combination of bad theater and poor acting. It's that thinking adults, both men and women, believed this display of sexism and bad taste actually possesses enough sociocultural, artistic, or political merit to put it on-stage for other adults to witness. If it were even remotely believable, its underlying misogyny and insensitivity toward both sexes would be deplorable. Instead one can only take a couple of Tylenol and recognize our First Amendment rights. Not tonight, Dr. Dauw. I really have a headache.

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