Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

Cross-Dressing Cook
(S)he already has the June Cleaver outfit, the Martha Stewart wig and the Julia Child voice down pat. However, there's just too much testosterone in the essence of Emeril. Although M.F.K. Fisher is probably overcooking in her grave, the one-and-only Boy George, entertainer-turned- DJ, can now add cookbook author to his colorful resume thanks to his collection of recipes found in the Karma Cookbook, co-authored with his personal chef Dragana Brown. All the recipes are macrobiotic and the vegetables color-coordinated.

Gossip Monger
There's the guy at the water cooler who can't get enough of inter-office hearsay. Then there's the girl you went to high school with twenty years ago who still can't stop talking about what happened in the 11th grade. There's your best friend who lives by and for "Page Six" and believes everything she reads on it. And then there's your mother-in-law who considers the tabloids more sacred than the Bible and calls you every time a celebrity enters rehab, Julia Roberts changes boyfriends, and Madonna changes accents. Liz Smith once said that gossip is the most important meal of the day and, for these people, it's nothing but the truth. So what better gift to give them than the memoirs of the aging celebrity ass kisser herself? Liz Smith's Natural Blonde: A Memoir gives the lowdown on the time Frank Sinatra told her off and just about everything --and everyone--else she ever experienced, encountered and covered during her illustrious career. In fact it's so chock-full of schlock, it may be overkill for the reader, ultimately turning them off to the nonsense. Which, in your opinion, is the best gossip you could ever hear.
$7.99, Borders Books and Music,
700 University Dr., Fort Lauderdale,
9887 Glades Rd., Boca Raton, 561-883-5854

Harry Potter Fan
The media blitz has already begun for the movie version of the hugely successful Harry Potter series and while the thought of collecting every tchotchke McDonald's doles out with its Happy Meals gives you indigestion, you know someone who'd be willing to go up a few sizes just to get 'em all. And that's just the mother of the devout Harry Potter fan. Kids of all ages who are engrossed in J.K. Rowling's phantasmagorical world of Harry and company will absolutely love this pop-up book that almost makes it seem as if you're a student of Hogwarts, too. Almost. But then again, the person who appreciates Harry Potter already has a vivid imagination, so this book is for serious fans--and their children--only.
Hogwarts School: A Magical 3-D Carousel Pop-Up, $24,

Mark Poutenis
Mark Poutenis

Alleged Art Aficionado
Why is it that so many single men think that having insipid Ansel Adams prints on their walls means they're "into fine art"? Not to slam the landscape-obsessed photographer or anything, but there's a heck of a lot more to fine art than a Kodak moment with trees and ice caps. To each his own, we suppose. So, for this guy who loves Ansel Adams, Ansel Adams at 100 is more than he could ask for. Chock-full of over 100 photographs, the book is, well, full of lovely landscapes. Enough said.
$150, Borders Books and Music,
700 University Dr., Fort Lauderdale, 954-340-3309;
9887 Glades Rd., Boca Raton, 561-883-5854

Purpose Server
Life and tennis are both games. Games are meant to be won, despite what your mother told you. And in some games fighting is encouraged. Not the cat fighting between Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova, but the fight against cancer. If you know someone who plays tennis, give him or her a whole new reason to hit the ball with Penn's special-edition, pink tennis balls that read "Serve Up a Cure." Half the proceeds from the sale of these balls will go to SHARE, Strang Cancer Prevention and the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.
$10 for a pack of three,

Not that we encourage this person's habit, but if you know someone who insists they perform better while under the influence, they're gonna love you almost as much as they do Jerry Garcia when you present them with this, the world's first collapsible, inflatable water pipe. Portable and almost reminiscent of an oxygen mask, the Pfwoot (maybe the name makes more sense after you've inhaled) is just a foot tall, available in blue with other colors to come. To use it, it needs to be blown up, which is a dubious task for someone who likes to inhale lots of smoke, but it sure is convenient to conceal when deflated. It also comes with a removable bowl and a built-in stem. Rendering the three-foot long tube as antiquated as the 8-track tape, the Pfwoot is not your father's bong.

This guy's dream come true is to sneak behind the rack in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's on a sale day and As a kid he preferred to peer through binoculars than through his Viewmaster. Now that he can afford super-powerful telescopes, his peering range has increased from across the street to across the city. One of these days he's gonna get arrested. But in the meantime, give him a full-frontal, legal view of the ladies in Apartment 7, the East Village apartment where women have disrobed for photog Peter Gorman in the hopes that someone would look at them. Such is not the case with the ladies at Loehmann's.
$34.95, Borders Books and Music,
700 University Dr., Fort Lauderdale,
954-340-3309; 9887 Glades Rd.,
Boca Raton, 561-883-5854

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schultzybeckett topcommenter

Yeah  do  not upset  your  routine work.  do  not feel complacent  or  relax  on  your oars.Always  be in  the  thick  of  things