Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

So your mother absolutely hates the phone and screams every time it rings. How are you ever going to persuade her to carry a cell phone, then, for emergencies, of course? It's not a deterrent enough that pay phones carry more germs than the inside of a dog's mouth. Consider disguising the cell phone in a Cellbaby--a fuzzy cover that looks like a stuffed animal. Choose from a cuddly bunny, puppy, alligator or beaver. So cute, your mother won't be able to resist!

If it's Tuesday, it must be mah-jongg at grandma's house. Come to think of it, every night is mah-jongg night at granny's. She lives and breathes mah-jongg. In fact, she's the mah-jongg champion of her retirement community. She's featured in Mah-Jongg Monthly as one of the world's foremost experts on the game. Her license plate reads Me-Jongg. Better than a diamond necklace is this bracelet made of bone replica mah jongg tablets and red glass beads. The ladies who play with her are already jealous of her status as a mah-jongg celebrity. Imagine their envy when they see this swank accessory on her wrist.
$70, Anthropologie,
1108 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach, 305-695-0775;
700 S Rosemary Ave., West Palm Beach, 561-805-8770;

Remember when your friend called you from his cellphone, hyperventilating because Erik Estrada was pumping gas right next to him? Or what about the time he actually schlepped to the opening of a Kmart in Homestead because some minor soap opera actress was on hand to do the ribbon cutting? Imagine if he actually ran into a real celebrity. Defibrillator, stat! Anyway, PlayStation has exactly what a starstruck person needs--SSX Tricky, the newest addition to the game's extreme sport series. What's so great about an extreme sports video game, you ask? Well this one's got bona fide celebrities lending their real voices to the game's players. Patricia Velasquez, Billy Zane, David Arquette, Macy Gray, Lucy Liu, Oliver Platt, Jim Rose Circus and Bif Naked have all got game in SSX Tricky. Even better, the music has been provided by Beastie Boys DJ, Mixmaster Mike. Your friend will never get excited about Erik Estrada again.
$49.99, Target,
3200 N Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale, 954-390-7992;
1200 Linton Blvd., Delray Beach, 561-265-3500;

Junior Couch Potato
Like it or not, this kid takes after his father, a man who hasn't gotten off the couch since All in the Family was still on prime time. The couch potato gene has been inevitably passed on to junior, who, until now, hasn't had the chance to become one with the remote since daddy won't cede control of the thing, no if's and's or but's. The Weemote 2 is a remote made just for the kids, allowing them to brainlessly channel surf, just like daddy, through 10 programmable, child-safe channels. Even better, it works with almost all TVs, cable boxes and digital recording contraptions such as Tivo. If the kid wants to tune into Sex and the City, however, it ain't gonna happen. For that, he's still gonna need daddy. And if dad asks the kid how he learned to master a remote, all the kid has to do is echo that old anti-drug commercial and say, "I learned it by watching you!"

Baby Spielberg
When this kid was only four years old, he was already criticizing camera angles used on his Barney videos. He also thought that Hayley Joel Osment was a terrible casting choice in that I-see-dead-people movie. He's also appalled that there was an American Pie II. Now a precocious eight-year-old, this kid wants to make movies. And not just any movie, either. He idolizes Steven Spielberg, even though, once again, he was disappointed with the use of Osment in AI, which, he thought, could have been a much better movie if he had any input in it. Though his hands are still too small for a Panavision camera, the Intel Play Digital Movie Creator is a good training wheel, an update of the old 8-mm camera allowing up to four minutes of digital video and audio. The thing also comes with editing software just in case the junior cameraman isn't pleased with his final cuts.

There's no way in hell a skeptic would ever believe a thing on the Sci Fi network's smash hit Crossing Over with John Edward. You believe it all and have seen every episode thus far. In fact, you could have sworn you channeled the spirit of Elvis at karaoke night even though your friend said your performance was absolutely pitiful and not even close. So what? Disbelievers are missing out, you say. You may not be able to get your friend to sit through an entire episode of Crossing Over because she says Edward's quick-draw McGraw tactics make her crazy, but perhaps the book Crossing Over will help convince her that it's not b.s. and that he does hear dead people. Fat chance, but it's still an amusing read either way.
$34.50, Borders Books and Music,
700 University Dr., Fort Lauderdale, 954-340-3309;
9887 Glades Rd., Boca Raton, 561-883-5854

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