Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

Sugar Daddy
You worked hard for his money--really hard. All those nights spent at clubby steakhouses, five-star hotel bars and yacht clubs paid off. Your self-investments in silicone were wise ones because, boy, did you get his attention (and that's not an easy thing to do these days). God bless Anna Nicole Smith! So now that you've scored your own Daddy Warbucks, what do you get him besides a new nurse and a respirator? Why, a personal ATM machine, of course! Not only will you save your sugar daddy his thrice-daily trips to the bank machine, but you'll also be able to make your own withdrawals in the comfort of your own home. Daddy dearest will pump the funds into the machine and you'll suck them out. Even better, the machine comes with 10 ATM cards, which we suggest you start passing out to the friends and family who put up with you during your desperate hunt for Mr. Moneybags.
$20,000, FAO Schwarz,
5701 Sunset Dr., South Miami, 305-668-2300;
3101 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens, 561-624-6840;
www.faoschwarz.com

Li'l Diddy
While most toddlers are happy playing in a sandbox, this one would prefer to play in the VIP room of a haute club in L.A., the Hamptons, South Beach, and pretty much wherever there's a member of the paparazzi lurking. At his first birthday party, said toddler refused to wear his Garanimals in favor of a flashy, splashy Baby Versace outfit. At his second birthday party, the Gymboree was roped off with velvet and behemoth doormen, and at his third, instead of Barney, this kid insisted on having a J-Lo impersonator. Instead of reading Dr. Seuss, he prefers to read the rhymes of his idols, P. Diddy and co. Ubiquitous in the neighborhood, he already has a posse of disciples who follow his every move, from the playground to the swimming pool. What can you say? At family gatherings, he makes his way into every photo and when asked what he wants to be when he grows up, he answers, "an entertainment mogul famous for being famous." Enough said. What better present than the Bentley Speed Six, a pedal car crafted in the style of the 1929 originals, featuring polished aluminum radiator grill, pneumatic rubber tires on spoke wheels, rearview mirrors and a pedal configuration that allows the driver to sit up higher than the conventional pedal car. If he's gonna be a player, kid's gotta have a Bentley, right?
$7,500, FAO Schwarz,
5701 Sunset Dr., South Miami, 305-668-2300;
3101 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens, 561-624-6840;
www.faoschwarz.com

Ex-Wife
She was your former first lady and still is the mother of your kids. She haunts you, showing up in a bubble over your head like Gazoo in The Flintstones, telling you what's right and what's wrong. What is she, your mother? Sometimes she feels like your mother, which is why you divorced her in the first place. But there's no getting rid of her. After all, she does relieve you of parenting duties from Monday-Friday. That's no small shakes. Thank her with a set of Barbara Bush Inaugural Pearls, an exact replica of the former first lady's and now first mother's three-strand, hand-knotted pearl necklace, created just for Babs by Kenneth Jay Lane.
$125, George Bush Presidential Library Museum Store,
www.museumstore.com

Newly Engaged Couple
Let their rich relatives buy them the Waterford Crystal. After all, they've only been dating for two weeks and barely know each other. Who knows if the engagement will last longer than their relationship? And did we mention that they're only 18? Ah, kids in love! Isn't it sweet? Commemorate their candy-coated commitment by giving them these limited- edition, reissued, retro bride and groom Pez dispensers. Two rolls of candy included, of course. Even better, it'll match the bride-to-be's gumball machine-bought engagement ring.
$29.95, www.pez.com

Date-o-rexic
This person would rather sit home and watch Blind Date than go on an actual date. When you ask why the person is so averse to dating he/she points to Blind Date as his/her MO. In fact, she or he'd rather endure a root canal than deal with the insipid first date small talk. Do you blame them? The last date this person went on probably took place when the Olsen Twins were still toddlers. Even they're dating now. Scary, huh? It's not easy, we know, but perhaps a little lunch "meeting" with a potential suitor would do the person good. It's just lunch, they say, and this way, it won't cut into the person's evening television line-up.
It's Just Lunch, 561-347-9022

Future Hairdresser
Some kids like to cut their dolls' hair, but usually the poor thing ends up looking like Chucky. This kid is different, however. When he does his doll's hair, people turn around to look. They want to know who did that doll's hair and when they can make an appointment. In fact, his mother's best friend was tempted to dis her coveted appointment with Oribe in favor of the trim-happy tyke. He's got a gift and it can't be denied. So encourage his talent by getting him the Hair and Nail Craft Studio, a professional-looking stylist's box complete with all the necessary accessories and tools to perfect that fabulous look. Take a number, Trend Tracker!
$30, Toy Town, 260 Crandon Blvd.,
Key Biscayne, 305-361-5225;
www.toytown.com

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