Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

TV Junkie
If your significant other would rather watch reruns of the Golden Girls than have sex, we suggest you see a therapist. But if therapy is not an option and the only way to turn him or her on is via remote control, then Ultimate TV is the inevitable solution. Sort of. Not only can you record up to 35 hours of programming, no tapes required, but you can even tape two shows at once. Imagine that! In case nature--or your own neglected needs--should call, the vidiot can even pause live television, ensuring that not one moment of laugh track is missed. Even scarier, this gizmo allows the viewer to surf the Web and interact directly with a favorite show. This could be your ticket to salvation, because if Gilligan and co. were rescued immediately there'd never have been an entire series, would there? Hmmm.
$449.99, Sony Directv receiver with
Ultimate TV, wireless keyboard,
Circuit City, 801 S University Dr.,
Plantation, 954-424-7600; 1200 Linton Blvd.,
Delray Beach, 561-274-6900;

Barbie Girl
Before Britney there was Barbie, the timeless beauty who still has no clue that her boyfriend Ken is gay. And if you know someone who still believes in Santa and has no clue that Ken is a friend of Dorothy's, the Barbie Nutcracker is a dream come true. Before those of you who know better start cracking lewd jokes, this full-length feature film--Barbie's first--isn't something found in the Adult Only section of your local video store, but, rather, a perky spin on the Tchaikovsky classic.
$14.99, Best Buy, 12301 W Sunrise Blvd.,
Fort Lauderdale, 954-423-1999;
20540 State Road 7, Boca Raton,

Cheap Date
He's a good catch, you insist, with a job, excellent manners, a sense of humor and a full head of hair. Somehow you always seem to leave out the fact that he's a tightwad. While your mother insists you dump him immediately, you know that Miami isn't exactly a hotbed of quality dates, so you decide you'll keep him around for the time being. While he hardly deserves a gift this holiday season--you'll be lucky if you emerge with a $10 bottle of imitation Chanel No. 5--there is something you can get him that will be more of a gift to yourself than him. The AMC Night at the Movies deal includes 2 tickets, 2 popcorns and 2 drinks all for $25. Who could forget the last time you guys went to the theater and you were so hungry you were about to scrape up the squashed Sour Patch Kids from the gnarly floor?
AMC Theaters, Sheridan Plaza 12,
4999 Sheridan St., Hollywood 954-987-4680;
AMC South Dade 8 Theaters, 18591 S Dixie Hwy.,
Miami 305-238-5795;

Mark Poutenis
Mark Poutenis

Big Baby
You'd be surprised to discover just who still sleeps with a teddy bear. That hot guy pumping iron at the gym? He does. The woman whose silicone implants are so massive there's practically no room left in her bed for anything/anyone? Yup, she does too. And because parting is such sweet sorrow when it comes to dumping a beloved stuffed animal, not to mention because you may be feeling a bit neglected lately, the Build A Bear Workshop, a place which uses the word "beary' almost as much as the word "the' is used in the English language, prides itself on being a place where best friends are made. Your dear friend loves you very much, we're sure, but she has a special place in her heart for her teddy bear. Create a custom-made teddy bear in your own likeness and hopefully she will adore you as much as you had hoped. But don't expect your beary good friend to dump her teddy and, instead, don one for you, her very needy, life-sized teddy bear any time soon.
$10-$25, Build A Bear Workshop,
3101 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens,

Mr. or Mrs. Magoo
Who could forget the time when your most-myopic friend substituted olive oil with Murphy's Oil during that gastronomically disastrous dinner party? While she still may be no Julia Child, prevent future poisonings and other assorted disasters by hooking her up with the pros at Eyewear4U2C (in case you can't see, it's Eyewear for you to see), where her oversights--or undersights, rather--can be cured by a revolutionary technique using lasers, which makes us wonder: If laser surgery cures the ills of sight, why do they call it La-sik?;
Eyewear 4U2C,,
910 Powerline Rd., Pompano Beach,

Prissy Pup
If your dog was in a beauty contest against Joan Rivers', there'd be no contest. After all, the do say that, in time, owners begin to resemble their pets. But looks aside, your pooch is so pristine, you couldn't imagine putting her in any schlock available exclusively on QVC. As a result, Tea Cups Puppies has come up with a fabulous faux pearl necklace with rhinestones that looks as if its straight out of the Tiffany & Co. catalogue. If that's too fem for your furry friend, consider the 14-karat gold toggle necklace with heart locket in which you can put a picture of yourself to remind your dog just who his/her best friend really is.
Pearl Necklace, $95-$105; Toggle Necklace, $595,
Tea Cups Puppies, 2201 Griffin Rd., Dania Beach,

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schultzybeckett topcommenter

Yeah  do  not upset  your  routine work.  do  not feel complacent  or  relax  on  your oars.Always  be in  the  thick  of  things