Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

No matter how hard you try, you just don't understand what the big deal is about 'NSync. But who are you to criticize teenage fanaticism? After all, you did have that big poster of Michael Jackson circa Thriller in your bedroom, and don't even deny it. Would you rather your little girl worship Marilyn Manson? Sure, it's a problem when girls take tests in school and respond to "Who was the 37th president of the United States?" with "Justin Timberlake is a hottie!", but leave the little girls alone. Sooner or later they will grow out of this and wonder, just as you did with Michael Jackson, what they ever saw in the boyz. In the meantime, indulge your little miss in her perfect teenage fantasies with the 'Nsync Hotline computer game, featuring oodles and oodles of exclusive pix of the guys bolstered by voice and video clips--insert screams of delight here--from each and every one of them. It's almost as if they're talking to you! Don't worry, eventually the CD ROM will warp and the boys will sound like Metallica on acid--that was redundant--and the girls will never want to hear them again. You hope.
$34.99, Target, 3200 N Federal Hwy.,
Fort Lauderdale, 954-390-7992;
1200 Linton Blvd., Delray Beach,

TV Junkie
If your significant other would rather watch reruns of the Golden Girls than have sex, we suggest you see a therapist. But if therapy is not an option and the only way to turn him or her on is via remote control, then Ultimate TV is the inevitable solution. Sort of. Not only can you record up to 35 hours of programming, no tapes required, but you can even tape two shows at once. Imagine that! In case nature--or your own neglected needs--should call, the vidiot can even pause live television, ensuring that not one moment of laugh track is missed. Even scarier, this gizmo allows the viewer to surf the Web and interact directly with a favorite show. This could be your ticket to salvation, because if Gilligan and co. were rescued immediately there'd never have been an entire series, would there? Hmmm.
$449.99, Sony Directv receiver with
Ultimate TV, wireless keyboard,
Circuit City, 801 S University Dr.,
Plantation, 954-424-7600; 1200 Linton Blvd.,
Delray Beach, 561-274-6900;

Barbie Girl
Before Britney there was Barbie, the timeless beauty who still has no clue that her boyfriend Ken is gay. And if you know someone who still believes in Santa and has no clue that Ken is a friend of Dorothy's, the Barbie Nutcracker is a dream come true. Before those of you who know better start cracking lewd jokes, this full-length feature film--Barbie's first--isn't something found in the Adult Only section of your local video store, but, rather, a perky spin on the Tchaikovsky classic.
$14.99, Best Buy, 12301 W Sunrise Blvd.,
Fort Lauderdale, 954-423-1999;
20540 State Road 7, Boca Raton,

Cheap Date
He's a good catch, you insist, with a job, excellent manners, a sense of humor and a full head of hair. Somehow you always seem to leave out the fact that he's a tightwad. While your mother insists you dump him immediately, you know that Miami isn't exactly a hotbed of quality dates, so you decide you'll keep him around for the time being. While he hardly deserves a gift this holiday season--you'll be lucky if you emerge with a $10 bottle of imitation Chanel No. 5--there is something you can get him that will be more of a gift to yourself than him. The AMC Night at the Movies deal includes 2 tickets, 2 popcorns and 2 drinks all for $25. Who could forget the last time you guys went to the theater and you were so hungry you were about to scrape up the squashed Sour Patch Kids from the gnarly floor?
AMC Theaters, Sheridan Plaza 12,
4999 Sheridan St., Hollywood 954-987-4680;
AMC South Dade 8 Theaters, 18591 S Dixie Hwy.,
Miami 305-238-5795;

Big Baby
You'd be surprised to discover just who still sleeps with a teddy bear. That hot guy pumping iron at the gym? He does. The woman whose silicone implants are so massive there's practically no room left in her bed for anything/anyone? Yup, she does too. And because parting is such sweet sorrow when it comes to dumping a beloved stuffed animal, not to mention because you may be feeling a bit neglected lately, the Build A Bear Workshop, a place which uses the word "beary' almost as much as the word "the' is used in the English language, prides itself on being a place where best friends are made. Your dear friend loves you very much, we're sure, but she has a special place in her heart for her teddy bear. Create a custom-made teddy bear in your own likeness and hopefully she will adore you as much as you had hoped. But don't expect your beary good friend to dump her teddy and, instead, don one for you, her very needy, life-sized teddy bear any time soon.
$10-$25, Build A Bear Workshop,
3101 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens,

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