Go Away Jose!

That old exploding ketchup trick

But not even the most undiscerning college student can believe the food here is worth further exploration. Even Buffalo wings tasted wrong, the sauce stranded somewhere between traditional cayenne-Tabasco flavors and sweetened barbecue concoctions. The quality of meat on the fajita nachos was low, a toughness echoed in a mediocre-but-enormous beef burrito. We fared better with the "arrachera steak." The beef, a flank steak, was also chewy, but appropriately so, and helped along by a garlic marinade.

Not much could rescue the St. Louis ribs that escaped the ketchup debacle. The dish consisted of bones, fat, and gristle, nary a tender nibble in sight. And the grilled, ten-ounce "fresh dolphin Key West" was gray and tasted far older than the steak, which the menu notes is "corn grain-fed and aged to perfection." Billed flavorings of lemon pepper, garlic, butter, and white wine were conspicuously absent. I would have concentrated on filling my stomach with the yellow rice that accompanies all entrées, but the grains were so tacky and hard, I would have had better luck throwing them at a Hugh Hefner bride.

As for dessert, No Way Jose! Indeed, I'd rather have a side of ketchup, garnished with a dusting of cumin.

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