Armed with his slide guitar, trademark microphone/motorcycle helmet, and a kick drum, Tucson's one-man-band Bob Log III walks the Earth promoting "Boob Scotch" -- his gift to the barroom arts. "When you're having fun, you clap your hands," Log theorizes. "When you're having a lot of fun, you clap your tits. It makes perfect sense." Conceived during an opening gig for Ani DiFranco, Log's quest to become a "boob better man" entails a nightly invitation for his female fans to clap their breasts on-stage and nipple-stir his single malt. Lest you think that Log is a sexist boob, let it be known that his brand of Evel Knievel gutbucket blues-rock is equal-opportunity fuck music. Log preaches: "This is for everyone! The guys too! What you do is, if your tits aren't big enough to clap against each other, you can clap your tits against your friends'. It's real simple. It's just chest to chest, here we go! Tit against tit -- that's not cheatin' at all!" Bob Log III performs at 9 p.m. Saturday, March 15, at Slak Lounge, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets are $5. Call 305-438-0810.