Among the finest of the Coen brothers' films (and nearly every one of them is a must-see) is The Big Lebowski. In it, the Dude, played to perfection by Jeff Bridges, utters the immortal line, "C'mon, I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles." Although in the movie that sentence got him thrown out of a rabid fan's taxi, in real life, it became the slogan for a suddenly vitriolic, anti-fan base of the '70s rock group.
The Eagles always had an air of mediocrity about them, even back in their heyday, but the band's hit-making status is undeniable. We have to give them credit for that. But that doesn't mean we'll greet the band's farewell tour, which arrives at the Office Depot Center (1 Panthers Pkwy., Sunrise) this Saturday at 8 p.m., with great enthusiasm.
The 1990s were certainly a decade for reunion tours, maybe due to the fact that '70s rockers were finally hitting midlife crisis. Or maybe their collective cocaine money finally ran out. Whatever the case, bands such as Jefferson Airplane got rightly kicked to the curb for their attempts to cash in on nostalgia. Yet the Eagles released Hell Freezes Over to a public that wept with adoration and the promise of what could be. Several overpriced tours later, Don Henley's "End of the Innocence" has taken on new meaning. We'll wait until the next Farewell Tour (i.e., when they need a quick influx of cash again). But if you must go, tickets cost $46.50, $86.50, or (ha ha) $176.50. Call 954-835-8000. -- Dan Sweeney
Put a Tent On That!
How many industrial rockers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The Bozo Porno Circus prefers to create a nightmarish cacophony of thunderous beats, menacing guitars, and skintight pleather that can (and should) be enjoyed only in the -- muhaha! -- dark. The nine-piece group, composed of fetish performers and musicians, serves up a live show that includes bondage, fire-breathing, chain saws, and a sinister dose of monstrous, pale-faced angst. The Circus even does a cover of Donna Summer's disco classic "Hot Stuff." Eeeevil! The Houston-based malefactors bring the noise, with openers Deadstar Assembly, to Respectable Street, 518 Clematis St., West Palm Beach. Tickets cost $8, and doors open at 9 p.m. Call 561-832-9999. -- Audra Schroeder
WED 5/21 Boys Set Fire
Dude! Are they gonna sell Pabst?
Tired of the waning weekend Miami scene and the arrogant hipsters that inhabit its closed quarters? Wish there were something in Fort Lauderdale to fill the void of your midweek doldrums? Can't believe the Rolling Stones can still stand upright? Ponder these and other questions amid a bevy of social dancers, eclectic music, and alcohol-fueled bravado on a night christened simply Blowtorch. Created by a mysterious collective of local rockers and media assassins, Blowtorch aims to please a South Florida community jaded by the politics of Revolver and PopLife. A rotating set of DJs mixes post-punk, electronica, soul, arena rock, and jazz-fusion while B-movies provide a backdrop for the denim-drenched surroundings. Drink specials galore; leave pretentiousness at the door. 10 p.m. at the Fox and Hound, 4812 N. Dixie Hwy., Fort Lauderdale. No cover. Call 954-491-8869. -- Kiran Aditham
Know Your Rites
Ballet springs into action
Fire and passion ignite the stage of Broward Community College's Bailey Concert Hall (3501 SW Davie Rd., Davie) when Miami's Maximum Dance Company premieres The Rite of Spring. No, we're not talking about the Great White inferno in Rhode Island. But, hey, the classical score by Igor Stravinsky is almost as lethal. The dancers explore man's primal relationship with nature and struggle for survival. This contemporary ballet, choreographed by artistic directors David Palmer and Yanis Pikieris, includes quick legwork, lovely turn combinations, and lifts reminiscent of dancers in an overheated club. Spring has never been this hot. Show starts at 3 p.m. Tickets cost $22 to $46 and can be purchased by calling 305-259-9775 or 866-MAXDANCE. Tickets can also be purchased at www.maximumdancecompany.com. -- Melissa Bijou
Joey Hams It Up
It seems no one can write about Joey DeFrancesco without calling the man a child prodigy. OK, fine. So he is. That is, if you consider age 17 to still be the childhood prodigy years. It was at that age that DeFrancesco turned in his national debut by backing up Miles Davis. Since then, DeFrancesco, now recognized as one of the finest Hammond B-3 players in the country, has produced impressive gig after impressive gig. Saturday's performance at the Museum of Art (1 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) will likely add another notch to the black-and-white keys of his chosen weapon. Tickets cost $20. Call 877-877-7677. -- Dan Sweeney