Attack of the Umlauts

That Sweden is so hot right now!

THU 5/22

So you've already become bored with the whole "garage rock revival" coming out of Sweden. Tired of too much talking and not enough rocking? It's time to get back to what Sweden's really known for. Metal! From the ashes of early '90s underground icons At the Gates comes the Haunted. This Swedish quintet brings its shout-growl-scream brand of death metal to the Factory (2674 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) to kick some ass and take some names. Now, dear reader, right about now you may be thinking, "Sweden? Metal? I've heard those guys are crazy! I hear they sacrifice goats and kill fellow band members on-stage!" No, no, that's those ding-a-lings over in Norway. The Haunted are just normal, well-adjusted guys! Like bassist Jonas Björler, who used to be in the metal band Infestation, and guitarist Jensen, who rocked out in Satanic Slaughter. And, yes, their latest album, One Kill Wonder, contains songs such as "Godpuppet" and "Shithead." But just listen to that double bass! Show starts at 7 p.m. Shai Halud, Bleeding Through, and Kataklysm open. Tickets cost $14. Call 954-564-ROCK. -- Audra Schroeder

SAT 5/24

The Haunted: kickin' rock out of the garage
The Haunted: kickin' rock out of the garage
These Doors don't know when to shut
These Doors don't know when to shut
Seymour puts Audrey II in her place
Seymour puts Audrey II in her place
Billy Boloby bounces back from the dead
Billy Boloby bounces back from the dead

Love Them Two Times, Baby

"Ladies and gentlemen... from Los Angeles, California... the Doors!" Ah, yes. Thirtysomething years ago, that announcement would have been preceded by the screams and wails of adoring teenyboppers and followed by the screams and wails of one of the best frontmen in rock history. Jim Morrison had more rock star in his pinky finger than most lead singers have in their whole bodies, but the man's been dead for 30 years now. Can a Doors reunion tour really go on without the Lizard King? Well, when you've got Ian Astbury, it becomes a possibility. Anyone who has ever seen the Cult knows that Astbury has a hard-on the size and shape of our fair Sunshine State for Morrison. During the Cult's show at Pompano Beach Amphitheatre last year, Astbury even used patented Morrison stage banter. See the man do his best Morrison impression with original Doors members Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger at the Sound Advice Amphitheatre (601-7 Sansbury's Way, West Palm Beach) at 8 p.m. Tickets for this we-need-retirement-money fundraiser cost $39.50, $65, or $85. Call 561-793-0445. -- Dan Sweeney

FRI 5/23

Feeeeed Me!
When plants attack, things get seedy

Botany turns to butchery and green thumbs turn red as every vegetarian's worst nightmare comes to life for the Actors' Playhouse production of Little Shop of Horrors. The musical production is based on Roger Corman's classic film of life, love, and a man-eating alien plant with plans for world domination.

Seymour Krelborn (Outer Critic and Lucille Lortel awards nominee Hunter Foster) is a dispirited geek with perennial bad luck. He works in a shabby plant shop in a "seedy" part of town, desperately trying to please his nagging boss, Mr. Mushnik (Lee Wilkof), while secretly fantasizing about his coworker, the bubbly Audrey Fulquard (1998 Tony Award nominee Alice Ripley). But Seymour's luck changes when, following a solar eclipse, he discovers a small flytrap-type plant. Seymour affectionately names the plant Audrey II, and his popularity is given a quick boost as sales skyrocket from the flurry of customers drawn to this strange new window display.

However, Seymour soon learns that the Audrey II is no mere flytrap; it lives on human blood. And while a few small drops are enough at first, the plant quickly grows -- as does its appetite and agenda to wipe out humanity. Designed by puppeteer Martin P. Robinson, the full-size Audrey II is large enough to keep theatergoers on the edge of their seats, with the ability to reach out into the audience. You won't want to miss this truly "horrorcultural" event. Play runs through June 15 at the Actors' Playhouse, 280 Miracle Mile, Coral Gables. Show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets range from $35 to $40. Call 305-444-9293. -- Jason Budjinski

THU 5/22

Broadcasting the Funk

When you think of PBS, you probably think of a live broadcast of the London Symphony Orchestra. But we're talking PBS the band, made up of George Porter, Russell Batiste, and Brian Stoltz, all of whom have played in a recent incarnation of the seminal New Orleans funk band the Meters. The group performs at the Culture Room (3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale) at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $13. Call 954-564-1074. -- Dan Sweeney

FRI 5/23

Billy Who?

What's that? You've never heard of Billy Boloby? This four-piece has defeated evil robots, survived a hit and run with a car full of senior citizens, hosted an ice cream social, had its singer brought back from the dead with a set of jumper cables, and overcome physical deformities, all in the name of rock 'n' roll! Its debut CD, The Revival, which will be out at the end of May, tests the boundaries of science and good taste. Come support the boys and enjoy sets by the Heatseekers, the Lids, and Homer and the Sexuals at Churchill's, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. Call 305-757-1807. -- Audra Schroeder

 
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