Hate, American Style

These false Idols need no worship

Despite what the mainstream press says, there are no winners on American Idol. The contestants, judges, and producers on the dumbest game show in the history of American television are all losers. Sure, in both previous years of the contest, the two finalists have gained celebrity. But American Idolfame has the shelf life (and stench) of week-old milk. The filmed-in-Miami vehicle for last year¹s ³winners,² the unwatchable From Justin to Kelly, was 2003¹s biggest dud, raking in a mere $3 million gross. This year¹s ³controversy² -- the 130,000 votes that separated obese crooner Ruben Studdard from Clay Aiken the malnourished muppet -- may have kept the American Idol Live! package in the news. But the second the current participants have to sing their own tunes instead of butchering John Lennon¹s ³Imagine,² we¹ll finally be rid of them for good. If you¹d like to speed up the process, consider smuggling rotten tomatoes into the Office Depot Center on Tuesday so you can heave them at all nine AI finalists. You may get arrested, but at least you¹ll be the only winner in the building. The American Idol Live! Tour visits the ODC, 1 Panthers Pkwy., Sunrise, at 8 p.m. Call 954-835-8000.

 
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