Workin' for Doodle

For Bob Graham's troops, word that he was quitting the race came straight from Larry King

After reading the above, this soot-stained Don Juan longed to know more about Intelligent Aryan Princess. Did she have thick yellow braids and glassy blue eyes? Has she found Mr. Right? How does she feel about, y'know, tubes? "Dear IAP," Tailpipe messaged her. "Wondering if some WN Lothario has swept you off your feet yet. You send lightning bolts through my Sieg Heil. Let's talk." The 'Pipe is still waiting for a reply.

Let's face it, the 'Pipe is no perfect piece of cylinder. Like nearly everyone else living in South Florida, where so many noses and breasts are as all-natural as the flavor of Gatorade, Tailpipe has thought about having some rust nipped here, some steel tucked there. But FX Networks' new hit show Nip/Tuck has the 'Pipe thinking twice about going under the knife. Set in South Florida, Nip/Tuck is a drama featuring two plastic surgeons and business partners -- family man Sean McNamara (played by Dylan Walsh) and handsome playboy Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) -- as their lives and careers intertwine with porn stars, drug kingpins, and the like.

Bob Graham leaves wreckage in his wake.
Bob Graham leaves wreckage in his wake.

There are surgical blunders that would spark medical malpractice lawsuits faster than this piece of metal can say boob job, such as the time McNamara leaves a surgical instrument inside the body of an aging Boca Raton socialite. The woman discovers the blunder when she sets off an airport metal detector. Whoa. Then there's the time a drug mogul forces McNamara and Troy to extract some bags of heroin implanted in a Colombian woman's breasts.

Nip/Tuck doesn't exactly portray the industry in a glowing light. That's why the Florida Society of Plastic Surgeons has started fighting back -- though in a seemingly assbackward way. The organization, which represents about 250 plastic surgeons throughout the state, has begun to run regular commercials during the show, which airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m., touting the standards and ethics of the men and women who can make you beautiful.

"The reasons we decided to advertise were that the program [Nip/Tuck] depicts plastic surgeons in a, well, not very good light," says Wanda Callahan, the organization's executive director. "We wanted to let the public know that plastic surgeons are serious surgeons like any other kind and that there is a place they can call to confirm that their surgeon is licensed and board-certified. We're trying to inject reality into the fantasy shown on television."

But the 'Pipe thinks that's a bit suspicious. Isn't it self-defeating to help the fledgling FX Networks financially? Callahan laughs. No problema. "On this particular network," she says, "it wasn't that expensive to advertise."

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