Letters for January 8, 2004

What? You expected team loyalty?

But the degenerate writer/political agent could not understand why he was not dead, and as he sat there, stunned, the preacher walked up to him and said: "David did not pray for Goliath to go away; he hit him in the head with a stone, and then he cut off his head with his own sword."

Then the writer degenerate/political agent looked to the left as the demon that had sold him the backward rifle approached him and said: "You failed to destroy Christianity in the United States of the Christian Pilgrims, so you must pay the price. For attempted murder, your soul is damned to eternal agony; you will never die. You will live your last painful moments every day, the slug in your round and watery right eye, the heat and the pain, and the elastic and insane expansion of your cranium."

Then the Christian fundamentalist preacher leaned over and whispered into his ear: "There is a time to live and there is a time to die, and God the Almighty made time, space, and the physical laws of ballistics, the laws of chemistry by whose principles gunpowder exploded that projectile into your ocular orbit, and he also made your mind, which conceived of a joke about killing Christians. But now the joke is on you, because Fidel Castro spoke over the radio last night and mentioned how Christians were fed to the lions, and he also mentioned that they don't have enough nurses in the United States of Brown Recluses and Copperheads. Do you know what Castro meant by all that, Mr. Reporter/Political Agent?

I hope you will consider this letter as you write your next piece promoting moral weakness, invalidating the moral principles that keep steak on our platters and a Crown Victoria in our garages. Remember, it is people like you who motivate al Qaeda to attack the "Great Satan."

Burt Alvarado

West Palm Beach

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