Love, Hot Rod

A faux Rod Stewart revs up the crowd -- and after a few drinks, everyone thinks he's sexy

"Are you gonna see Rod tomorrow night?" she slurs. She is speaking to Orr but looking down at the ground because she is, well, tanked. Sensing imminent spewage, we both back up a bit.

"No," Orr laughs. "I already know what he looks like and what he sounds like!"

The resemblance is uncanny, although Orr is, according to him, a few years younger than the real Rod. He hits the same notes in that gruff Stewartian wail and shakes his hips with the same swagger. But don't think he's trying to bite Rod's style. "People ask me if I always looked like Rod, and I have to tell them no," he says, lifting his glass to yet another incoherent passerby. "I tell them I looked like Brad Pitt and had to take ugly pills. I don't pretend to be Rod. I don't want to be him -- except when I'm broke."

Zing! After steady accolades from Hot Rod's verbose fans, you have to ask...

"I wouldn't say I have groupies," he says, sensing the brewing curiosity. "Those were the people you shagged in the back of the van. My fans are couples, women from the Lauderdale Yacht Club, and I get up there, take the piss outta 'em. But of course, Rod's stuff is very female-oriented, so we get a lot of single women, and we do the love songs. I dance on the tables. I busted a $350 pair of leather pants and several teeth doing that one night! Another night, I got up on a table, and -- I always do the same gag -- I said, 'This is the part of the night where we all get naked.' Sure enough, people started jumping up on tables and taking their clothes off. [Larry and I] just believe in entertainment. We're the hosts of a party. And when people see me up there with this glass in my hand, they want to drink and have a good time."

A swarthy, bearded fellow in a flannel shirt and work boots stumbles over. "Hey, Rod, hey, hey... I don't wanna interrupt, but that was the best friggin' show I seen in a long time. I'm a Rodaholic! Keep up the hair up..."

And following that enigmatic statement, Orr walks away. But he'll be back next Thursday.

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