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WED 21Millions of years ago, there was a big bang. But this big bang is different from the one we're familiar with: the one hard-line creationists want to keep out of school textbooks. But both creationism and evolutionism neglect the real origins of our species: a race of aliens known as GWAR. After being banished to Earth, GWAR forcefully bred with apes, resulting in the creation of humans. And in the 1980s -- after all those years toiling with their offspring -- GWAR became a thrash band, the only sensible thing a group of aliens could do. In 1997, GWAR fed talk-show maven Jerry Springer to a giant, man-eating worm during one of its shows. Need I say more? Join Oderus Urungus and gang as they annihilate humanity at the Culture Room (3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale). The show starts at 7:30 p.m. with openers Bad Acid Trip (see Critic's Pick in Music). God, What an Awful Racket! Tickets cost $15 in advance and $18 at the door. Call 954-564-1074.

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