Your team got its ass kicked, little baby

I talked to a tall, brown-eyed Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan who explained his obsession to me.

"See, you gotta understand. First you pick your team, then you follow them all the way. It's not like I sat down on the couch with a beer and said, 'I like this team.' Naw, I've been watching the Buccaneers ever since I was a little kid."

"Have they ever gone all the way?" I asked.

Jim Campbell

"Yeah, they won the Super Bowl in the 2002 season," he replied.

"So, how did you feel when they won?"

He answered, "I felt like the shiznid."

"Really," I asked. "Is there anything else in life that compares to the Buccaneers winning the Super Bowl?"

He stammers, then comes back with, "You have to have a favorite team to get it."

"But why would I care?"

"Just pick a team," he insisted. "Then you'll understand."

"OK," I said, eagerly awaiting the hundreds of hours of my life I was going to spend in front of the TV worrying about who beats whom, "I'll be sure to get right on that.

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