Sock It to 'em!

Unless you've been wearing four-inch thick, rose-colored glasses and have had two pounds of cotton stuffed in your ears, you're a tad peeved at the state of the nation: mounting U.S. casualties in Iraq, unemployment, and the fancy footwork Bush and his cronies used to dance around the 9/11 commission. It's just too muchfor words! November seems eons away, and the tug-of-war polling match between Bush and Kerry reduces everything to a horserace. So what are we, the voting public, to do?

Take your best shot!

Details

1 to 4 p.m. Saturday, May 8, Call 866-696-7701. http://www.thesmartride.org/

Sawgrass Lanes, 1391 NW 136th Ave., Sunrise.

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More About

• John Kerry
• Glen Weinzimer
• Jason Budjinski
• Bowling
• U.S. Politics

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Screw the polling -- let's go bowling! Yes, bowling. While violence is not the solution to taking out your political frustrations, pretend violence -- like putting the faces of politicians on bowling pins before knocking them over -- is A-OK! It's also a good idea for a fundraiser, or so says Rider Relations Director Glen Weinzimer, who helped organize the Because We Care Bowl-a-thon. The event benefits this year's Southern Most AIDS/HIV Ride, which takes place November 5 and 6 and raises money for several AIDS service organizations throughout Florida.

"We want to give everyone the opportunity to express themselves," Weinzimer says, "and this seemed like a fun way to do it." And he does mean everyone. Though Dubya's likeness sits front and center as political kingpin and is flanked by Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice, Tom Ridge, and John Ashcroft, John Kerry is represented as well, as are Al Sharpton, Dennis Kucinich, and even Ralph Nader. For $20, you get an afternoon of bowling, a T-shirt, and food. And if you bowl a strike, you win one of about 60 rock, jazz, and pop music CDs available in the prize stash. So whether you're mad as hell and can't take it anymore or just want to have a beer and a bowl, the Because We Care Bowl-a-thon is good times either way. Just keep the ball out of the gutter -- that space is reserved for lobbyists and Fox News pollsters. -- Jason Budjinski