THU 27God save South Florida -- the Creepy T'shave added a second guitar to their already fuzzed-out garage-punk mix, in the form of one Dr. Steven Van Helsing. While that may sound like a heavy load, just try to recall the last time guitarist/vocalist Derek Hyde actually played his instrument the entire set; now he's got more leeway to go into freakout mode, which is what makes the T's one of the more entertaining bands in the area. Hell, the band's even gotten itself some national radio play and beat out some 600-plus bands to get on the Wiz Records Cavestomp Comp. Take it from the garage radio impresario himself, Little Steven Van Zandt, who describes the T's as "out of limits on angel dust and ripple." Yep, that sounds about right. The Creepy ones join the Hooples tonight at Alligator Alley (1321 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park). The free show starts at 9 p.m. Call 954-771-2220.
FRI 28Ask a guy to pick out a sexy movie and he'll choose something like Beyond the Valley of the Ultra-Milkmaids. Ask a girl and she'll pick something more intriguing, something with a plot, something that includes the good part -- the snuggling after the nookie. Something like Desert Hearts, a 1985 film set in Nevada in the '50s, in which a divorcée struggles with her attraction to a self-assured lesbian. The tangled emotions are played out against a backdrop of rocky landscapes and country and western songs. The film shows tonight as part of the "Lesbian Movies" series at the Stonewall Library (1717 N. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Admission is free. Call 954-763-8565.
SAT 29Dude, where's my Mars? We want to know: What the hell ever happened to Dubya's plan for a Martian occupation? Yeah, it seems like a far-off concept, but at this point, is it any less plausible than democracy in Iraq? We've already got the Mars Exploration Rover Spirit snooping around, looking for signs of life and the possibilities thereof. The Rover's panoramic photos are the most high-resolution pics of the Martian surface to date. You can check 'em out at the "Destination Mars" exhibit, which opens today at the South Florida Science Museum (4801 Dreher Trl. N., West Palm Beach). The exhibit allows you to operate a simulated rover on a virtual Mars terrain. If a tree can grow in Brooklyn, there's gotta be something alive on Mars. The cost is $7 for adults; $5 for children ages 3 to 12, and free for members and children under 3. Call 561-832-1988.
SUN 30"We don't care how you get here, as long as you wear white." So proclaims the invitation to the Fourth Annual White Wear Party at the Voodoo Lounge (111 SW Second Ave., Fort Lauderdale), which we are extending to you. That means you can wear outwhat you usually wear around the house: a wife beater, tighty-whities, and a pair of tube socks! Or your bathrobe. Or your Liberace coat. Or you can paint your entire body white, which is what someone did last year. Or if you can still fit into your old bridal gown, go ahead and slip it on. You didn't pay hundreds of bucks to wear it just once, now did you? The possibilities are endless. Entrée to this par-tay costs $20, and you can head over as early as 5 p.m. (Free top-shelf drinks until 7!) Call 954-522-0733.
MON 31On Memorial Day, does anything scream "American!" more than getting out into the early summer sunshine and sweating a bit? The 16th Annual Memorial Day Classic 5K Run/Walk begins bright and early at the Weston Town Center (2300 Arvida Pkwy., Weston). Age categories from 8 and under to 80 and over offer every participant a suitable competitive level, and medals will be awarded to the top three runners in each category. Registration costs $25 and begins at 6 a.m., with the starter's gun sounding at 7:30 sharp. Oh, and this race is not just any typical jaunt in the park. It's high-tech... very cutting edge. Each runner is timed by a revolutionary Champion Chip clipped to his or her shoe. On the race's web page, all racers' results will be listed to the fraction of a second. Call 954-384-7521, or log onto www.splitsecondtiming.com.
TUE 1You've thought about it before: adoption. How awesome would it be to skip labor pains and potty-training? You need only take one look at the adoptable kids on the website of the Children's Home Society of Florida and you'll be petitioning the stork to drop all of 'em off at your house. For instance, "Sabrina is very sweet and likes hugs and love... Shawn enjoys playing with telephones... Jose sometimes needs to be reminded to 'look before he leaps,'" and, "Although Shelley can be a bit headstrong, it is appropriate for a 12-year-old young lady!" The CHSF holds a free "International Adoption Information Session" at 7 p.m. today at its office (3333 Forest Hill Blvd., West Palm Beach). Adoption experts will tell you what's really involved if you want to take the plunge and expand your "forever family." Call 561-868-4300.
WED 2Though it's been nearly three decades since the end of the Vietnam War, the memories still burn painfully in America's collective conscience; we screwed up big time. Unfortunately, Vietnam is still no better off for our having failed to kick out the commies. So for the third year now, the Voodoo Lounge (111 SW Second Ave., Fort Lauderdale) is hosting the "Good Evening Vietnam Fundraiser" to benefit the country's scores of orphans and impoverished children. For your monetary donation -- all of which goes to the Far East Foundation -- you get a night of belly dancing, live psychedelic tribal jazz music by Jerrods Door, a helping of fresh-cooked Vietnamese food, and a slew of auction items, including rock 'n' roll memorabilia, Asian artifacts, jewelry, sailing trips, and more. There's also a raffle in which $10 can win you a four-star vacation in New York City. If you got the wealth, why not spread it around? It's better than giving your money to some bloated corporation. Admission is $50. The evening kicks off at 7 p.m. Call 954-792-2983 to RSVP.