This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

 THU 29

If you're looking for the doorway to another dimension, psychedelics are the best choice. But... psychedelic drugs or music? Why, music, of course. Indeed, the secrets of the mind's inner workings are found in the music of Jerrods Door, which opens you up to a whole realm of psychotropic audio sensation. Jerrods Door combines the sounds and instruments of different indigenous cultures to create what it calls "psychedelic tribal music." Yes, that means didgeridoos and dulcimers, as well as guitar, bass, and drums. Picture yourself seated inside the hut of an African village, screwed up on peyote, and surrounded by drums and chanting. Jerrods Door performs tonight with Meredosia at Alligator Alley (1321 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park). The show starts at 9 p.m. and costs $3. Call 954-771-2220

FRI 30

Will Deville's "personality" prevail as "Miss Nude USA"?
Will Deville's "personality" prevail as "Miss Nude USA"?
"Would you vote for me as Miss Nude USA?"
"Would you vote for me as Miss Nude USA?"

When choosing a location to start your comedy career, good weather probably shouldn't be a deciding factor. It wasn't long after moving to South Florida that the Minnesota-born Mitch Hedberg realized that our area's lack of comedic career options overshadowed its sunny skies and bikini babes. Hedberg's relocation to the West Coast proved fruitful; the comic soon began appearing on MTV, A&E, NBC, Comedy Central, and on the big screen, in the film Almost Famous. So, is Hedberg funny? Sure -- but it's a smart, inventive funny. For starters, he offers little gems like this: "P.S., this is what part of the alphabet would look like if q and r were eliminated." Who thinks of stuff like that? The same guy who called Mr. Pibb a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper because the "dude didn't even get his degree." Hedberg performs tonight through Sunday at the Palm Beach Improv at CityPlace (550 S. Rosemary Ave., Ste. 250, West Palm Beach). Tickets cost $21.20. Call 561-833-1812.

SAT 31

We're not kidding when we say that judging the "Miss Nude USA" contest is going to be hard! The 26 contestants include sassy blond bombshell Jada Deville (you'll remember her from Buttman's Nudes-A-Poppin' #10), bad girl Angelica Wild (she's appeared in both the Discovery Channel's American Choppers and How to Party Like a Porn Star Volume 1), and chameleon-like Exotica, for whom the contest is small potatoes, since she already holds the titles of Miss Nude International and Miss Nude Galaxy. The contest started Thursday and wraps up today, so get out of the adult video store and get over to Cheetah (100 Ansin Blvd., Hallandale Beach), where the entertainment lasts from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. Hostess Rio Rivers says that women will be judged on facial beauty, body, ability to entertain, talent, and personality. In a past competition, says Rivers, "One girl popped out of a genie bottle, and she was covered in neon body paint. She had a giant tub set up and then washed herself off. It's amazing." Call 954-455-2131, or visit www.cheetahsouthflorida.com.

SUN 1

Just as we Americans celebrate the Fourth of July, Jamaicans observe August 6 as their day of independence from those colonizing Brits. This year marks the 42nd anniversary of Jamaican independence, and to celebrate that historic event, Jamaica Awareness Inc. hosts Culturama 2004 at the Coral Springs Center for the Arts (2855 Coral Springs Dr.). A variety show, Culturama features dance and live music by Jamaican schoolchildren as well as performances by some of the island's older inhabitants. In addition to traditional folk dances like the quadrille, maypole, and dinki mini, the performance includes the reenactment of a nine-night celebration, popular in Jamaica's early rural communities. A good idea for anyone whose knowledge of Jamaica ends with jerk chicken and dreadlocks. The show starts at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $15 to $25. Call 954-344-5990.

MON 2

Sadists have a reason to celebrate! The South Florida Young Jewish Professionals bring coed dodgeball games to Hollywood. If you have the sick desire to make yourself a moving target in the deliciously cruel sport, head over to Hollywood Hills Elementary School (3501 Taft St., Hollywood) from 7 to 9 p.m. (but leave the kiddies at home). Afterward, nurse your bruises with the "beverages" on hand -- that's why you chip in five bucks to play. Call 954-983-9597, or e-mail sfyoungjewishprofessionals@yahoo.com.

TUE 3

You don't even need any LSD to trip out on the sounds of Aquasky vs. Masterblaster. The U.K.'s experimental DJs battle during two sets -- one of breaks, one of drum 'n' bass -- at Club XIT (219 N. 21st Ave., Hollywood). British accents, Caribbean riddims, and hypnotic beats combine to detonate one serious par-tay. The event is brought to you by the forward-thinking ears of the electro-fiends at One Scene United. They've also invited 25 other DJs to get behind the decks throughout the night. Ten bucks gets you in -- that's, as the Brits would say, "cheap as chips." Call 954-464-6931, or visit www.onesceneunited.com.

WED 4

If laughter really is the best medicine, then it's quite telling of Derek Richards' comedic skills that he survived a bout with cancer. Or perhaps his standup act scared the disease away. After all, Richards ain't exactly the most sensitive man to hold a microphone. Despite his ironically titled Sensitivity Training CD, Richards isn't bothered by the opinions of thin-skinned audience members who don't know what they're in for. Jokes about sex, race, and feminine deodorant spray are common fare at a Richards performance. Even handicapped celebrities find their way into his routine. After watching VH1's Behind the Music episode about Def Leppard, Richards had to ask: How did one-armed drummer Rick Allen manage to beat his wife? "It's not like he's gonna hold you down with one arm and stump you with the other, for God sakes!" Too bad Richards missed the obvious joke about Allen's wife: "Armageddon it." Richards assaults the crowd at Uncle Funny's Comedy Club (9160 State Rd. 84, Davie) tonight through August 8. Tickets cost $8 to $15. Call 954-474-5653.

 
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