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Army of Old

A former Kiss Army soldier recalls his torturous tour of duty

Careful, guys!  Don't wanna break a hip!
Careful, guys! Don't wanna break a hip!

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7 p.m. Friday, July 30, Tickets cost $20 to $65. Call 561-795-8883.
Sound Advice Amphitheatre, 601-7 Sansbury's Way, West Palm Beach

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2. Kiss Kondoms: You'll need one of these for your "band experience." Varieties include "tongue lubricated Gene" and "studded Paul." Yeech. Really the lowest point in the history of rock merchandising. Makes the coffin seem tasteful by comparison.

1. The Pepsi commercial: Stanley and Simmons harmonize Pepsi's theme song, "The Joy of Cola," and unintentionally encapsulate everything Kiss Inc. is all about. That song oughta be on Kiss Gold.

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