THU 2

Sometimes in comedy all it takes is the right quote or a really outrageous character to make a lasting impression. John Witherspoon has experience with both, from simple sound bites like "Bang! Bang! Bang!" from Boomerang or hard-headed characters like the father in Friday. Though never quite able to land a lead role, the actor/comedian has been in more movies and TV shows than Roger Ebert could shake a stick at, dating all the way back to a 1973 episode of Barnaby Jones. And he's been consistently funny too. Add up Witherspoon's many vendors, reverends, pimps, and assorted weirdos and you've got a character collection to rival Stan Lee's. Witherspoon performs tonight through Sunday at the Palm Beach Improv at CityPlace (550 S. Rosemary Ave., Ste. 250, West Palm Beach). Tickets cost $23.32 to $26.50. Call 561-833-1812.

FRI 3

Beware! Mr. Hector puts the hex on the Voodoo Lounge.
Beware! Mr. Hector puts the hex on the Voodoo Lounge.

Have you noticed the mass exodus of cool from New York City to Miami? Why deal with terrorism warnings and Republican National Conventions when you can blissfully ignore all that junk while throwing back mojitos in our tropical paradise? That's what DJ Hex Hector thought in 2003, when he ditched the Big Apple for the Little Coconut. Not that things were so bad in NYC. When Hex worked at the China Club, he was constantly bugged by this girl who always wanted him to get her and her sister on the guest list. Her name started with a J and ended with a Lo -- and she returned the favor years later when she had him remix her hit "Waiting for Tonight" -- for which Hex snagged a Grammy. The six-sided one drops the needle in the wax tonight at Voodoo Lounge (111 SW Second Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Call 954-522-0733, or visit www.voodooloungeflorida.com.

SAT 4

"Our beer is not like making love in a canoe." So say the folks at the Billabong Pub (3000 Country Club Rd., Pembroke Park). By that, they mean that the beer is not "fucking close to water." But their Labor Day weekend party is like making love in a canoe. In other words, it's gonna be rockin'! The Billabong-a-thon, which takes place from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. Saturday and Sunday, features more than 20 bands who get along like a house on fire: Humbert, Mr. Entertainment, the Freakin' Hott, Neptune B, the Remnants, the Brand, and AC Cobra, and more. Stay for the whole thing and you might just put a dent in the 'bong's few-hundred-strong collection of beers from around the world. Call 954-985-1050.

SUN 5

When Tabou Combo formed, the band members called themselves Los Incognitos because no one knew who they were. But that was in 1968. Now, the compas band is a household name in Haiti. It'll headline today's CaribeFest, where it'll be joined by reggae sensation Glenn Washington and famously bare-chested soca singer Leon Coldero and the Code 868 Band. Latin Grammy winner Jorge Moreno will do his pop star thing, the fellas in the Lauderhill Steel Ensemble will bang their steel pans, and Haitian group Da Minted will also control the stage. The best part of all this? Tall dudes wearing masks, cowrie shells, and some crazy-ass outfits will dance to all this music -- on stilts. They're the Virgin Islands Mocko Jumbie Stilt Dancers, and you can behold them from 3 to 11 p.m. at Lakeshore Park (8501 S. Sherman Cir., Miramar). The event is free. Call 954-270-4601 or 954-962-5501.

MON 6

Though it's typically closed on Mondays, Flamingo Gardens (3750 S. Flamingo Rd., Davie) is making an exception today. It's Labor Day, in case you forgot (that's why you got so hammered Sunday night). So if you're up for a little fresh air -- time normally spent in an office -- Flamingo Gardens is holding a Labor Day Fair all day. Whether you've busted your butt all year or hardly lifted a finger, Flamingo Gardens honors your efforts with half off the admission price. And in addition to touring the gardens and outdoor animal exhibits and browsing the bazaar for antiques and jewelry, there's a Lloyd Goradesky photography exhibit in the cool, air-conditioned gallery -- definitely plan B if it starts raining. Today's cost is $6 for adults and $3 for children ages 4 to 11. The fair runs from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Call 954-473-2955.

TUE 7

Exactly when did disco die? Was it when punk first exploded? When Studio 54 closed? Or was it when Rod Stewart and the Rolling Stones proved that their flirtations with the music were just a phase? Now that the disco era's safely behind us, it's unanimously celebrated -- and probably the most popular perennial party theme. But disco was about more than big afros, male cleavage, and wild cocaine parties. It was about doing the hustle. The bump. The bus stop. If those dances don't ring a bell -- or if you were too hopped up to learn them the first time around -- maybe you should swing by Paladium (5688 W. Sample Rd., Margate) for disco dance lessons. DJ Bobby spins the deepest disco and hustle cuts of the '70s and '80s. The lessons start at 8 p.m. Admission costs $5. Call 954-977-7752.

WED 8

Sting and Annie Lennox are among the few '80s pop stars to have evolved out of that famously trite decade. That's why they're performing a big-bucks concert at Sound Advice Amphitheatre (601-7 Sansbury's Way, West Palm Beach) and not some $5 racetrack gig. Though their solo careers could have gone south once the '90s reared its grungy head, both artists continued to strike gold -- er, platinum, that is. Of course, that means evolving, which in Sting's case includes collaborating with sample-meister Sean Combs, appearing in a car commercial, and taking the John Tesh approach to music (meaning it's less about songwriting and more about sound-making). Lennox, on the other hand, has gone the Chris Carrabba route, painfully baring her soul on her latest album, titled (surprise!) Bare. Though it caters more to Lifetime television viewers than to the black-rimmed-glasses crowd. The show starts at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $32 to $97. Call 561-793-0445.

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