Say It Loud

Campaign songs. They’re important.

But Bush and Kerry are going about it all wrong:

U2? “God Bless America”? Sheesh.

Dominic Sirianni, bassist for the Remnants, offers some alternatives:

For Bush, I would say that GG Allin is the most representative performer for him as a person and his campaign. The two songs that leap to mind are “Bite It You Scum” and “Dog Shit.” The latter features a lyric that goes something like, “Dog shit, dog shit/Shit straight out of a fucking dog’s asshole.” [This] works for his supporters, who can’t grasp innuendo or nuance.

For Kerry, Devo has a song called “Mongoloid,” which tells the story of a below-average man who still manages to “bring home the bacon.” I pick this because Kerry appears to me as semiretarded but still able to bring home some of the policy bacon that I desire. For the election in general, though, my theme song is either “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue” or “Chinese Rocks.” This campaign makes me want to inject copious quantities of heroin to kill the pain while dulling my cognitive abilities with powerful inhalants. Audra Schroeder

Check out the Remnants at 10 p.m. Friday, October 1, at Broadway Billiards, 17813 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura. Cost is $5. Call 305-935-6600.

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