This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

THU 21

There's a gang of young artists, writers, and musicians around here that sure knows how to create buzz about its events: by naming them creatively. On the first Tuesday of every month, this crew holds a concert called "Along Came a Spider," featuring different bands each time. Not too long ago, they scheduled the "First-Ever Something to Live for Chicken Count and Art Show." Just last week -- uh, nearly a month since we've seen a storm -- they held a "Naked in the Hurricane Art 'n' Music Poncho Party." The posse itself is curiously named By the Way. Tonight, the cool little freakers continue their "Noches de Gallerias" series of happenings at art galleries. Check out the "torrent of words and music" at the Las Olas Arts Center (600 SE Second St., Fort Lauderdale). Visual art will be on display all day, and you can buy stuff from the "startling artists' desperation yard sale" on site. But readings -- by the yummy Brendan O'Hara and other poets -- and music -- by Sayonara Tokyo, Hoopers Nougat, Teri Caitlin, and Centipede -- don't start till 6 p.m. Cover charge: $5. Call 954-565-4909, or visit www.bythewaymagazine.com.

FRI 22

Say you're one of those people whose parents set down their hash pipe just long enough to scribble some "far out" name -- like Moon Unit or Skeeter -- on your birth certificate. You have two options: Kill yourself or make something of yourself. Let's say you got a name like Kelly -- but you're a dude! Make like Kelly Slater, pick up a surfboard, and win the world championship six times. Say your parents named you after one of our not-so-pretty body parts. Make like Dick Cheney, join your friends Colin and Bush, and take over the White House! Or say your parents named you Delbert. Make like Delbert McClinton and become the sexiest, bluesiest, honky-tonkin'est singer/songwriter to ever grow a mustache. Tour relentlessly, become buds with Willie Nelson, win a Grammy, and meet your rabid fans at the Carefree Theatre (2000 S. Dixie Hwy., West Palm Beach) tonight at 8. Tickets cost $37.50. Call 561-833-7305.

SAT 23

You know that joke about your mama being so big she makes a beeping noise when she backs up? OK, so it's a little sophomoric, but if Michael Winslow told it, you'd have to snicker, at least. The human sound-effects machine, best-known for his role in the Police Academy movies, makes more strange beeping noises than a Tarantino film shown on the Family Channel. That's not to say his talents are limited to an hour of varoomsand errrps; Winslow's a master impersonator as well, mimicking the likes of Stevie Wonder, James Brown, Ronald Reagan, and Jimi Hendrix ("Excuse me while I eat this fly"). Say what you will, but if beat-boxing were still the in thing, Winslow would have a considerably larger bank account. Check him out Thursday through Sunday at the Palm Beach Improv at CityPlace (550 S. Rosemary Ave., Ste. 250, West Palm Beach). Tickets cost $16.96 to $19.08. Call 561-833-1812.

SUN 24

If people keep mistaking you for Macy Gray or Donald Trump, well... we're sorry to break it to you, but it's not because you reek of fabulousness or money. It's the lid! Yep, time for a little snipper-upper. Ain't no shame in it -- especially today, when you can get a haircut at Alexander's of Australia's Salon (910 NE 19th Ave., Fort Lauderdale) between 1 and 6 p.m., and 100 percent of the profits go to Women in Distress. Alexander himself is down with the cause because of all the horrible domestic-abuse stories he's heard from ladies who sit in his chair. He organized Cuts Against Abusehimself, and in a few weeks, he'll hop on his bike and ride 640 miles to raise money for the charity. To schedule a cut ($50-85) or find another participating salon in your area, call 954-462-5444.

MON 25

It's Monday, mon, and there's no reason you can't add an extra day to your weekend. So if reggae's your cup of tea (insert gratuitous herb reference here), then Reggae Mondaysat Tarpon Bend (200 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale) is like a mini Chinatown as the guys from Fourth Dimension pick up the vibes with their mix of reggae, dancehall, and soca. Though it's a regular attraction at the Bend, Fourth Dimension is hardly your average bar band; its résumé includes performing at Bob Marley festivals in Miami and Texas, Caribbean cultural festivals in Canada -- and even at the 77th birthday party for Marley's mom. So go ahead -- bring your grandma! The night lasts from 9:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. and features deals on wings, Malibu drinks, and Bavaria beer. Call 954-523-3233.

TUE 26

After three decades of making music that crossed the line between new wave and aboriginal, you'd think someone as capricious as David Byrnemight surprise us with some new way to poke a finger in the eye of artistic convention. Well, he did just that with the release of his DVD of PowerPoint presentations that examine how the medium molds our thought process. Ah, but Byrne is a man of the world -- and the world's music. Ever since his days as the quirky front man of the Talking Heads, Byrne has been intrigued by any and all music he deems interesting. This naturally includes South African-inspired rhythms and, more recently, elements of opera. Yes -- opera. If you're looking to hear "Psycho Killer" or "Burning Down the House," well... you're a tad late. That is, unless he adds the songs to his next PowerPoint project. David will Byrne down the house tonight at the Gusman Center for the Performing Arts (174 E. Flagler St., Miami). Show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $40.75 to $45.75. Call 305-374-2444.

WED 27

Tonight, you're invited to view the total eclipse of the moon at the Buehler Planetarium (Broward Community College, 3501 SW Davie Rd., Davie) with a bunch of smarty-pants types who can explain to you why this occurrence happens only 7,718 times in five millennia. The excitement starts at 8:06 p.m., when the big ball o' cheese enters the Earth's penumbral shadow. Catch it now or wait three long years till the next one! Call 954-201-6681, or visit -- dig this -- www.iloveplanets.com.

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