New Times Backs Bush

1. Four more years of Jenna’s cleavage televised.

A vote for Bush will at least be counted.

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More About

• Dick Cheney
• War and Conflict
• U.S. Presidential Election

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2. The Geneva Convention is for pussies.

3. That Rumsfeld makes me all tingly down there.

4. So what do you have against stem cells?

5. Ambiguity, nuance, and humility have no place in geopolitics today.

6. His environmental policy won’t kill you. It’ll only make you stronger.

7. Did you notice that bulge in the crotch of his flight suit? The terrorists sure as shit did.

8. If he wins, it means presidential candidate Dick Cheney next time. That means the Dick ticket: Cheney/Armey in 2008.

9. $400 billion deficits are the gift that keeps on giving. What else can you leave to your grandchildren?

10. A vote for Bush will at least be counted.