Love Sucks

Or, "How the other side ponders Eros while sucking down a cold one"

"What would you sacrifice for love?"

"I eat her," Oxbig responds. "If I eat you, you're gonna be my wife."

There seems to be consensus on this.

Christopher Smith

Twenty-two-year-old Javin confirms, "A bitch only get head if you love her -- that's it. You gotta be real special to get head. I'm Puerto Rican. I know what I'm doing."

Another friend, a built man in a wife beater and a black baseball cap, is booty-dancing like crazy against a pool table with a slight, short-haired girl, who the guys say is a lesbian. They're bumping, grinding. She's got her legs wrapped around his waist, and he's thrashing her around the floor.

The guys are yelling, "He's gonna bring her back" ... to the hetero persuasion, I presume.

Two bespectacled blond women in their 40s are laughing hysterically as they watch the scene go down. So I turn to talk to one of the women, who says to call her Savannah, for a different perspective on love.

"I've been in love with a married man for five years," she tells me. "He lies to me all the time. [He says] he's going to leave his wife and get divorced. I decided not to see him anymore a few months ago, but I've started seeing him again. It's painful to be in love with someone who is married. It's sad when a man has a wife at home and tells someone he's going to leave. It hurts a lot when people lie. I'm not taking his calls anymore."

"What is love?" I ask her.

"If you really love somebody, you want to wake up with them in the morning. You want to put up with the good and the bad." She gets personal: "I would be a good stepmom for his kids. He would have a lot more fun with me, [but] as long as he comes home every night, she's OK with it. At this point, I have to take care of myself. I want a guy who's committed."


"Not a guy who's gonna hang out at the bar." She points to two young men playing pool. "Look at them. Don't they have to work in the morning? What are they doing? It's hard to find a committed man."

Oxbig strolls over to our conversation, and Savannah asks him, "Why can't men commit?"

He replies, "'Cause the one girl he trusted did him wrong. She did some dirty shit. Every girl I ever treated good did me wrong. Every girl I treated like shit loved me. If I tell you you're my one and only girl, that's true. But every girl is either a slut or she's crazy and thinks you're fucking every girl you talk to."

Warmed up to me, Oxbig refers back to his cell phone porno. "That wasn't me, I swear. I'm a virgin... in my ass."

EJ's feeling fuzzy too. "How old are you?" he asks me.

"25," I respond.

"Huh," he says. "Do you got a sister?"

Feeling slightly wiser and kind of old, I leave.

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