This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

 THU 9

Naturally, when the South Beach Gay Men's Chorus does its take on It's a Wonderful Life, it changes the title to It's a Fabulous Life and translates the film into a musical. This new version centers on Joe -- a gay actor whose role in Randolph the Rainbow Reindeer brings on too much backstage drama. "Are heterosexuals happier?" he mopes. Enter Arthur the Angel (also gay), who shows Joe how his life would have played out if he'd been born straight. It's a Fabulous Life "gives a whole new meaning to donning gay apparel" -- watch out for Gabe the Special Elf and a rare "out of drag appearance" by Daisy Deadpetals starring as Carlo/Carlotta. Catch performances through Sunday at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Tickets cost $27 to $29. Call 954-462-0222, or visit www.browardcenter.org.

FRI 10

The South Beach Chorus gives It's a Wonderful Life an extreme makeover.
The South Beach Chorus gives It's a Wonderful Life an extreme makeover.

We really hope you like Mitch Hedberg because his support acts -- fellow comics Stephen Lynch and Al Madrigal -- have bailed on him. This means that the onus of delivering $32.50 worth of comedy rests squarely on his Midwestern shoulders. That's not to say he can't deliver. While Hedberg looks like the missing member of Britpoppers Oasis, his humor's as American as apple pie -- the apple pie that gets devoured after inhaling a huge joint. Hedberg's a real hit with the college crowd, which might explain his laid-back, rock-star persona and far-out comedy bits about food, lack of sleep, and miscellaneous observations that make you wonder what the hell he's smoking. Maybe that's why the comedian is performing at a rock club. Hedberg goes solo tonight at Revolution (200 W. Broward Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). Show starts at 8 p.m. Call 954-727-0950.

SAT 11

You know those stray cats that constantly rummage through your garbage cans? Well, had their parents been spayed, you'd have only raccoons to curse and throw rocks at come trash day. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford to get their pets fixed, and organizations like the Pet Aid League -- which offers low-cost spaying/neutering services -- don't always see the green. But it is the holiday season, and in the true spirit of giving, a handful of local bands is performing for a Pet Aid League benefit show at the Billabong Pub (3000 Country Club Rd., Pembroke Park). In addition to regular sets by Humbert, the Brand, Bling Bling, Fabulous Shuttle Lounge, and the Freakin' Hott, each band is supposed to do a Christmas song (they'd better not wimp out). So show up at 9 p.m., put down $8 to support a good cause, and throw back some of that Aussie brew. Call 954-985-1050.

SUN 12

We are still scratching our heads at the words of Bernard Zuel, who reviewed a Hilary Duff concert for an Australian newspaper. He described Duff as "a bouncy idol who wasn't asking the audience to buy, sleep with or destroy anything" -- as though that were a good thing! Hell-o-o? What do you think music is for? Well, there's hope for Duff yet. Have you seen those photos of her performing in a black Motrhead T-shirt? How cool would it be if, during her set, Lemmy popped up and the two of them did a raging duet of "Eat the Rich"? And then Lemmy devoured her? Tonight, Duff hits the stage -- as do Alicia Keyes, Kevin Lyttle, Switchfoot, John Mayer, Rupee, Maroon5, Ryan Cabrera, and the Blackeyed Peas -- for Y-100's Jingle Ball at the Office Depot Center (1 Panthers Pkwy., Sunrise). Tickets cost $26.50 to $126.50. Call 954-523-3309, or visit www.y100.7miami.com.

MON 13

Despite what you've heard about Cathode Ray (307 E. Las Olas Blvd.) being the best gay bar in town, "We don't care who people are sleeping with," owner Larry Wald says. "We think everybody should flirt with everybody." What he's trying to say is that the club draws a mixed crowd and that ladies and straight men are more than welcome at the weekly Comedy/Video Nights, where VJs play selections from a 40,000-clip-strong library of music videos and comedy sketches. While Matt the bartender passes around toys or gives away homemade stickers, you can request Dana Carvey's brilliant "Chopping Broccoli" skit from Saturday Night Live or MTV rejects like the Tubes (with their famous song that goes, "She's one in a million girls..."). Ladies, if you feel like wearing your skimpy tank tops, please, go right ahead: "Gay men love breasts," Wald insists. "They're fascinated by them. It's like an alien from another planet! Men will freak!" Things get rolling around 9:30 p.m., and there's never a cover. Call 954-462-8611.

TUE 14

Feel feverish? Take some ibuprofen. Constipated? Take a laxative. But what if your problem is that you're sick of taking pills? In that case, you should take a trip to Kenley Gifts and Books (4175 N. Pine Island Rd., Sunrise), where Mayan shaman Peace Mother Geeta Sacred Song signs and discusses her book The Impeccable Warrior of Light. If you believe in the healing power of music, the Indian-trained mantra master offers further testimony that an Advil a day won't keep the doctor away. If you think it's all hokey-pokey, you'll really be hatin' it when President Bush starts putting the clampdown on medical research funding. Better hide those stem cells next to your stash of smut rags! The healing begins at 7:30 p.m. Call 954-578-4990.

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