Who can fix your espresso machine
Mike Gorman
"Eek! I lost my Madonna wig!"
Dying Fetus decks the halls with metal.
The B-52's help Cher bid farewell -- or so she says.
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SAT 12/16 Part mime, part quick-change artist, and part paper doll drag queen, Ennio Marchetto has made a career out of wardrobe malfunctions and ripping off costumes to expose funny and ironic punch lines. One moment, he's Celine Dion keening "My Heart Will Go On." The next moment, he's the sinking Titanic. Inspiration can come from anywhere... especially if there's enough caffeine around. According to his website, Marchetto was working in his father's espresso machine repair shop one day when he was struck by a vision of Marilyn Monroe dressed in paper. Raised in the tradition of the Venetian carnival, Marchetto didn't have to stretch to get from vision to performance. Now, 20 years later, you can see still see him in his paper Marilyn costume... or decked out as the Mona Lisa, Judy Garland, or Barbra Streisand. Diva after diva...Ricky Martin, Madonna... the list keeps going.
Marchetto is just back from a command performance for the Prince of Wales at the Royal Variety Performance, where he shared the stage with Elton John and the Osbournes. Yeah, he's been them too. His show runs through December 31 at the Cuillo Centre for the Arts (201 Clematis St., West Palm Beach). Tickets cost $42. Call 561-835-9226, or visit www.cuillocentre.com. -- Dave Amber
Stank Rock
Hooba-what?
FRI 12/17 To some, the name Hoobastank may sound like the aftereffects of some bad Mexican food and too many cervezas. Or maybe it reminds you of the date you drunkenly brought home last weekend. But when the post-grunge quartet comes to town this weekend, the only way it'll sound is loud. Don't let the success of the band's recent radio-friendly offering The Reason fool you; these California boys haven't totally sold their souls to the Total Request Live crowd -- even if the lyrics could have been nabbed off the cutting-room floor of the last 'NSync album. We give Hoobastank one more year before touring with Ashlee Simpson or her 2006 facsimile. Catch the stench Friday at Pompano Beach Amphitheatre (1806 NE Sixth St., Pompano Beach). The show kicks off at 7 p.m. with openers Three Days Grace and Letter Kills. Tickets cost $25. Call 954-946-2402, or visit www.ticketmaster.com. -- Paul A. Leone
Fetal Position
Holiday horror show
SAT 12/18
Right about now -- unless you're hopelessly sentimental and a bit slow -- you're getting a little sick of seeing Christmas decorations everywhere you turn. Fortunately, there's a quick antidote to quell the namby-pamby crap -- Dying Fetus. Yep, that's a metal band, and a pretty menacing one at that. Dying Fetus plays old-school thrash with vocals deeper than the Grand Canyon and darker than Marilyn Manson's nail polish. You might not understand what the hell vocalist John Gallagher is sayin', but you can bet it's not pretty. The Fetus joins All That Remains to open for GWAR Saturday at the Culture Room (3045 N. Federal Hwy. , Fort Lauderdale). Show starts at 8 p.m. and costs $15. Call 954-564-1074. -- Jason Budjinski
Cher Your Love Shack
SAT 12/18
Surprise, surprise -- Cher's still touring. Despite promising to end her touring career years ago, the überdiva joins the B-52's on Saturday at the Office Depot Center (1 Panthers Pkwy., Sunrise). It's funny how as corny and mainstream as the B-52's are, they're still more fun and energetic than today's third-generation U2 rip-offs. Show starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $45.25 to $85.25. Call 954-523-3309. -- Jason Budjinski
