Beatcomber

Amerikkka's Most Cuddled

Now that Ice Cube is doing slapstick comedy, we can all agree that the edge of gangsta rap is permanently dulled. The writers of Are We There Yet?, which opened recently in South Florida theaters, originally had in mind Adam Sandler to play the lead role of Nick (a mere letter away from Nice) Person. When Sandler backed down, the spot was offered to Cube, the father of four once known as "The Wrong Nigga to Fuck With." Natch. And it's paying off at the box office: Despite an atrocious script and cornball plot, the movie grossed $18.5 million over its opening weekend.

Back in 1990, Tipper Gore railed against Ices Cube and T for their brutal misogyny and glorification of violence. Fifteen years later, after a bizarre cultural 180, aging hip-hop purists are aghast that an emasculated Cube gets worked over by a couple of rug rats. Sure, Cube's just crossing items off his checklist of "Things to do before I record a duet with Elton John," but at what cost to his rep?

And more important, what's next?

Beatcomber has a few ideas to exploit the gangsta-to-pranksta trend.

Bedtime with Blowfly --Starring the "King of X-rated Rap," this charming fairy tale follows a sweet-talking pimp and his posse of singing elves on their quest to rescue Princess Ho-Cakes from the evil Dr. Doodylicker.

Hey Wu, Pikachu!-- RZA, GZA, Ghostface, and Meth team up with the lovable critter to find a hidden pot of gold in this animated adventure. Look for the poignant TV spinoff, ODB Where Are You?

Me So Hungry-- Luther Campbell is back -- and he's after your cookies! This time, Luke's got one hand in the jar and another on yo mama's a**. Co-starring Lil' Kim as Miss TwoShoes, the friendly weeyatch.

See you at the movies, mutafu -- um -- kids!

 
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