No Clothes?

No Problem!

FRI 2/18

The season's right for some clothing-free fun.
Mike Gorman
The season's right for some clothing-free fun.
Hustle over to the Durty Werdz Poetry Slam Competition at Club Mirage.
Joe Rocco
Hustle over to the Durty Werdz Poetry Slam Competition at Club Mirage.
Rancic's been hired to speak in Boca Raton.
Rancic's been hired to speak in Boca Raton.
Gourd, rattle, and roll Mondays and Wednesdays in Fort Lauderdale.
Mike Gorman
Gourd, rattle, and roll Mondays and Wednesdays in Fort Lauderdale.

For all intents and purposes, Sunsport Gardens (14125 North Rd., Loxahatchee) is a typical family resort. It has a heated pool, a spa, a sauna, and plenty of sports and activities. The only difference is the attire -- or lack thereof. As one of south Florida's premier naturalist destinations, the resort doesn't mess with the restrictive apparel boundaries, and this weekend's annual Midwinter Naturist Festivaloffers the perfect opportunity to cast off the shackles of your winter wardrobe.

The festival includes the area's largest collection of New Age workshops, focusing on health, personal growth, arts, and ecology. The 185 workshops cover everything from acupuncture, herbal medicine, and skin cancer screening to photography, hula hoops, and hugging. For those just looking for a chance to "hang out," there are volleyball, tennis, horseshoe, and petanque (French bocce) courts; quiet nature trails and gardens to walk through; and grassy areas in which to lie without having to worry about tan lines. After the sun goes down, there will be peace dances, musical performances, a talent show, campfire sing-a-longs, nightly drumming circles, and naturist videos. Oh, and don't forget the nude Bible illustrations. Interested in learning more but not quite ready to drop your drawers? No worries; except for the pool, spa, or sauna areas, you can keep your skivvies on. Not bringing any, however, makes it easier to pack.

Resting on 40 acres in Loxahatchee Groves, Sunsport Gardens is a naturist's paradise; besides trails and gardens, it has ponds and lakes for fishing and boating. Dedicated to promoting naturist values and healthy lifestyle choices, the resort prides itself on its clean atmosphere; there's no smoking in the common buildings, no alcohol is served, and the restaurant -- Alice's Restaurant, where "you can wear anything you want (or not)" -- provides a vegetarian menu. So if you're ready to strip away your inhibitions and enjoy a weekend the natural way, swing on by from Friday through Tuesday. All activities are included for $17 per day, plus a one-time $30 registration fee. Call 561-793-0423, or visit www.sunsportgarden.com. Don't forget the sunscreen! -- Paul A. Leone

Body Slam

What rhymes with Beaver Hunt?

SUN 2/20

Hustler magazine is sponsoring a poetry reading. Need we say more? Well, it's not really a poetry reading. It's a poetry slam. And the difference between a reading and a slam is the difference between masturbation and power sex. A poetry slam is a fast-paced competition of spoken word where audience participation is actively encouraged. Competitors perform in three rounds. And when it comes to winning, it isn't the size of the words you use, but how you use them. Get the crowd excited and pounding their feet, score more points. Judges for the Durty Werdz Erotic Poetry Slam Competition include Larry Flint Jr., son of the iconic, wheelchair-bound Hustler founder and free speech advocate. If you want to spit verse, call ahead to sign up -- there are only 20 slots available. Remember this important rule: There can be no props, says slam organizer Chrisimperial. "No props, only lyricism," he says. "And disrobing is a prop." For everyone's sake, keep your clothes on, and leave the toy box at home. Talk dirty Sunday at Club Mirage (2275 N. State Rd. 84, Fort Lauderdale) at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $10 to $15. Call 754-214-6024. -- Dave Amber Trump Card

Breakfast with The Apprentice

FRI 2/18

Bill Rancic is destined to be the stumper on a Trivial Pursuit card in the very near future. As last year's winner of Donald Trump's reality TV show The Apprentice, Rancic has written a book (and made an accompanying CD) entitled, predictably, You're Hired! The so-called "pop-culture business book" converts the insights Rancic gained from the TV show into universal secrets for success in business and life. Now the Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County is offering the opportunity to discuss these secrets with Rancic himself as he stops by Friday morning to speak at the Estates Ballroom in the Boca Raton Resort and Club (501 E. Camino Real, Boca Raton). The event takes place from 7:30 to 9:30 a.m. and costs $36 per person, which includes a full-course breakfast and, of course, the seasoned wisdom of someone trying to prolong his 15 minutes (and the cash flow). Autographed copies of You're Hired!are available for $20. Call 561-852-3163. -- Jeff Megahan

Oh My Gourd!

MON 2/21

Everybody knows that a sèkèrè (SHEH-keh-reh) is a beaded gourd rattle. And everybody knows that a beaded gourd rattle is an instrument. And that's what you're going to make during a workshop at the African-American Research Library & Cultural Center (2650 Sistrunk Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). The next thing you're going to make is a lot of noise -- er, harmonious rhythms -- as you celebrate Black History Month. The workshop is conducted in four sessions -- Mondays and Wednesdays, February 21, 23, 28, and March 2 -- from 5 to 7 p.m. It costs $40 to $80 (depending on how big a rattle you make), and it includes the cost of materials (gourd, beads, cordage, etc.). For more information, or to register, call instructor Eddie Osborne, who's been making these suckers for 20 years, at 954-893-1695. -- Deirdra Funcheon

 
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