Thursday is St. Patrick's Day, and that means everything is greener than Ralph Nader picking shamrocks in an Irish pasture. But for each St. Patrick's Day event, there is a different shade of green. Here are some of the goings-on that pay homage to the Emerald Isle -- and the various hues they represent.
Leafy green is the cabbage that's piled up next to your corned beef. And it's only part of what's available during Thursday's annual celebrations at Maguire's Hill 16 (535 N. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-764-4453) and O'Shea's Irish Pub (531 Clematis St., West Palm Beach, 561-833-3865). The quaint, little outside gathering at Maguire's attracts only, oh, some 3,000 people. The day starts at 7 a.m. and gets into full gear 12 hours later with live music by Celt, the Murray Band, Box of Rocks, and the Minstrels of Mayhem. O'Shea's has live music as well, featuring Six on the Road, Dennis O'Rourke, and the Plastic Paddies in addition to bagpipe players and traditional Irish dancers.
Paper green is the money you save at Thursday's free performance at Murphy's Law Irish Pub at Seminole Paradise (1 Seminole Way, Hollywood, 954-791-4782). The all-day show features Celtic rockers the Young Dubliners, the Kathleen Roundeau Champion Irish Dancers and Bagpipers, the Padraic Keane Celtic Rock Band, and Pride of New York City, a U2 tribute band. Paper green is also the money you spend ($75, to be exact) if you drop by for Friday's parade inside the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino(5763 Seminole Way, Hollywood, 954-583-3250), grand marshaled by no less a gold-pot guardian than Regis Philbin (Susan Lucci is on hand as well).
Gator greenis the sign outside Alligator Alley (1321 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park, 954-771-2220), which hosts a St. Patrick's Day Drunk Punk Party featuring Two Story Double Wide, the Mary Tyler Whores, Ginger Snapped, and Howitzer. One of those bands has gotta know some Irish punk covers (Undertones? Stiff Little Fingers? Anyone?) The show takes place at 9 p.m. Thursday and costs $5.
Naive green is how you felt when that cute redhead in the bookstore asked your opinion of James Joyce, to which you replied, "Um, I thought his new album was a little weak." You dumbass. Maybe you can learn something Thursday at Old School Square's Crest Theatre (51 N. Swinton Ave., Delray Beach, 561-243-7922), where former Irish president and current United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights Mary Robinson speaks at 2 p.m. A staunch advocate of human rights, Robinson was the first woman president of Ireland and is a member of more political organizations than you can shake a four-leaf clover at. James Joyce's album-- that's rich. Tickets cost $38.50.
Finally, clear greenis the tea you'll need to detox from the long weekend of food, drink, and general merriment you're bound to have. It's not exactly a pot of gold, but what is? Hmm... better ask Regis for a hand at the slot machines.