Tailpipe

Get Rich in the Developer Biz

After he was pulled over by rookie officer Dominic "Hatch" Hachigan, who noticed Love's Ford Explorer driving without its headlights on, Love says he cooperated fully. When it was revealed his license had been suspended earlier that month, Love says he called a friend on his cell phone to come pick up the Explorer while Hachigan wrote him a ticket. That's when Pahokee officer James Levey showed up and all hell broke loose.

"This damn fool Levey heard on his radio that I was pulled over," Love explains. "He came, whispered something to the other guy, and said, 'Put your goddamned hands on the truck, Robert Love. '" When Love questioned the reason for the arrest, the beatdown began.

Driving down Main Street after dinner together, Biggs and Latimore saw the violence and stopped to investigate. By then, the street was swarming with police, and Biggs alleged that one sheriff's deputy pointed a gun and shouted for them to stay away (though she later conceded it may have been Mace or pepper spray, not a handgun).

Love hurts.
Sharon Love Kinsler
Love hurts.
FEMA at work.
FEMA at work.

Meanwhile, Love was taken to Glades General Hospital, where his aunt, Sharon Love Kinsler, just happened to show up. "I'm a picture-taking girl," she told Tailpipe. "God had me in the right place at the right time." The photos she took there clearly show the extent of her nephew's injuries.

A week later, Duran and officer Levey resigned.

"It's a new millennium," Love says, "a new millennium of Klansmen. Rather than come out with sheets and hoods on, they come out with a police uniform."

Party Time!

Tailpipe once had a house guest who was messy and moody and inconsiderate. The 'Pipe came home one night to find four dozen people crowded into his pad, drinking and smoking and canoodling. "So... you're havin' a party," the nonplussed 'Pipe pronounced.

"Yeah, man," the guest replied. "Did I forget to tell you?"

That's how Fort Lauderdale city officials feel right now. From June 5 to 7, more than 1,200 people, including dignitaries from throughout the Western Hemisphere, will descend on the city as part of the general assembly of the Organization of American States, an international group that promotes democracy, human rights, and solutions to crime and drugs in the Americas.

Hosted by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the OAS meeting will feature world leaders, bigwigs from Washington, D.C., and Tallahassee, and international media at the Broward County Convention Center. At night, those politicos and dignitaries will stay at Fort Lauderdale's hotels, including the Hyatt Pier 66 and Marriott Marina.

All this, of course, will require substantial manpower from the city. There's security, parking, roadblocks, and the occasional drunken driver with diplomatic immunity.

Trouble is, no one bothered to inform Fort Lauderdale's new city manager, George Gretsas, and his staff that the party was coming to town until recently. What's more, it's still unclear whether the federal government will reimburse budget-strapped Fort Lauderdale for serving as the OAS party pad. "We're still in the dark," concedes David Hébert, a city spokesman.

Make FEMA Work for You

The 14 clods dumb enough to get indicted by the feds for Federal Emergency Management Agency fraud this month had it coming. Claiming hurricane damage on homes they didn't even live in? Morons! But you have to admire the moxie in turning natural disasters to their advantage. People hoping to hit the FEMA jackpot without landing on the Sun-Sentinel front page should simply harness the next hurricane to work for them. Have the storm destroy the unwanted crap around the house, then apply for a FEMA upgrade. Some suggestions:

• Buy hurricane shutters from Fabric & Things.

• Park your priceless, “vintage” ’77 Gremlin under 20-ton banyan trees.

• Loosen shingles above tacky upstairs bathroom.

• Taunt God every night before bed: “Bet you can’t hit my termite-infested pool deck.”

• Convert doghouse into “infirmary” for ailing grandmother. FEMA covers funeral expenses too, you know.

• Leave the old Magnavox with the blown speakers in the breezeway. HDTV, here we come!

As told to Edmund Newton

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