French Doorman

He's the snob who stands between you and a good time

"He's worked with all the clubs over the years. One time, some guys come walking up in shorts. I said, 'Don't let them in.'

"Julian said, 'That's the owner of the Marlins. '"

Taking the side of the partier at the door, I searched for an empathetic emotion in the unflappable but easily amused doorman. I asked, "Julian, have you ever been rejected?"

Oliver Robert, the muscle (left): Good cop. 
Julian, the doorman: Bad cop.
Courtney Hambright
Oliver Robert, the muscle (left): Good cop.

Julian, the doorman: Bad cop.

"Not that I know of," he replied.

"So," I conjectured, "the feeling of rejection is something that you don't understand? You don't know what you're doing to people?"

"I make sure I'm not gonna get rejected wherever I go," he proclaimed.


"You've just got to be sure of yourself."

Aha. Or maybe it's style, connections, and a little cash to throw around.

I asked Julian how much he makes.

"No comment." His only further answer was, "I worked six months at Art Bar. Before that, I was retired for a year."

"You made enough to retire for a year?"

Julian nodded and smiled.

"Hmm. Do people try to pay you off?"

"People try to pay me off all night. It doesn't really work. Take care of me without asking anything. Take care of me because you had a good time."

"So," I asked him, "what's never gonna get past the door?"

"Sneakers, baggy pants, assholes, T-shirts."

"But," I pointed out, "you're wearing a T-shirt."

"I'm the door guy," he explained.

He put his thumbs together and extended his pinkies out around an invisible waistline and said, "Anyone who can't fit in here."

Elitist though that sounded, a glance at the crowd revealed that it's not strict policy.

"What are the best lines you've gotten at the door?" I asked him.

"Shit, I don't remember... 'I'm Julian's brother,'" he said.

"What do you do if you know you're not going to let someone in?"

"Say, 'I'll be right back. '"

He summarizes, "I talk to people first to see how they act. I love attitude. They've got to have personality."

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