Energizer Con Man

Batts says she's owed more than $200,000 for representing the museum. But trustee Soneet Kapila not only declared the Graves collection worthless but he challenged Batts' fees.

Nonprofits like the Graves file annual Form 990s with the IRS, listing everything they own -- from a $50 butterfly encased in amber to a pre-Colombian ceramic pot valued at $876,475. Individuals who donate items get tax write-offs. "So were all of those tax returns falsified?" Batts asks.

She makes a good point. The 'Pipe wonders if the recipients of Kapila's largess will, when filing taxes next year, appraise their gifts as worthless. Nothing but some old bones saved from a Dumpster? Tell it to the tax man.

Name Game

So Hollywood Greyhound Track, with the imminent onset of slot machines, has decided to rename itself the Hallandale Beach Greyhound Track and Mardi Gras Gaming Center. We think that's a great idea, Indeed, this 'Pipe proclaims that a few other local landmarks could stand a rechristening. Among them:

Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport

The Girl from Ipanema Cavity Search Center

Dolphins Stadium

The House that Wannstedt Whacked

Dania Beach Jai Alai

The Basque Separatist and Soggy Nacho Depot


The Five-Finger Discount and Ghetto-Removal Emporium

-- As told to Edmund Newton

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