By Terrence McCoy
By Scott Fishman
By Deirdra Funcheon
By Allie Conti
By New Times Staff
By Ryan Pfeffer
By Deirdra Funcheon
By Kyle Swenson
"'Is your mom's name this and your dad's name that?' she asked me."
"Yeah," I said. "She was a MILF, a mother I'd love to fuck. She had silicone double Ds, and we exchanged numbers. I said, 'I'll call you tomorrow.'
"So I left Gatsby's to go find my car, and I got a phone call from her. She said, 'I need you to come pick me up.'
"She got in the car, and she was like, 'I haven't gotten laid in eight months.' She was going through a divorce or whatever. So we got back to her house and did the shimmy-shimmy dance. It was hours and hours of platonic sex. Her husband could've stopped by at anytime.
"Afterwards, I said to my mom, 'You know Barbara, right?'
"She waited a second and said, 'No, you didn't.'
"I said, 'Yes, I did.'
"She said, 'It's gonna be awkward.'
"We did our thing for, like, six or seven months. [Barb] got crazy and wanted to have a kid. She said she would pay for everything. I was like, 'Whoa, when I'm ready. Put the brakes on that.' Me and her ended up staying friends, though."
In his own words, the product of Nivio's affair: "Crazy shit. Crazy shit."
Thirty-four-year-old Jackie, a pretty woman with big boobs and dark brown hair pull back into a tight ponytail, sat at the same table.
When asked about having an affair with a married person, she replied, "I've had a couple, but the one that I'll tell you about is an experience that lasted 12 years."
Nivio, who was all ears -- and perhaps eyes -- for Jackie commented, "Damn."
"We met in a bar in Clifton, New Jersey, 14 years ago. I was 18 years old, and I looked at it as something that was going to be fun. He told me he was married and had a daughter. It was two days after Thanksgiving, November 28, 1990," she recalled in astounding detail.
"We approached each other tipsy. We went outside and kissed good night, and I gave him my phone number. He called me two weeks later, and we went out on December 9. On our first date, we ended up having sex, and then we kept seeing each other. In February, I found out I was two months' pregnant, so it maybe was from the first night we had sex.
"I told him, 'I don't believe in abortion. If you love me, stay. If not, c'est la vie.'
"So in January, he told me that he was in love with me and that he and his wife had ended it. We stayed together. At Easter, he took me to meet his daughter and surprised me with his son, who was four months old. The best part was that the boy was born on December 9. He had called me back the first time [on the same day] his wife gave birth.
"My son was born in October, and we were together until 2002, when he met someone else and cheated on me."
The lesson Jackie learned: "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
Her analysis, "A cheater is always on tippy toes, lying and wondering if you're going to get caught. Sometimes, I think that turns people on."