Thou shalt not squeal like a pig
The 1972 movie Deliverance introduced us to an emaciated, banjo-playin' boy with a forehead the size of a satellite dish. The young George W. (just kidding) seemed strangely aware of the city slickers' fate as audiences everywhere learned to associate "Dueling Banjos" and the bluegrass sound with felled logs and doomed poopshoots.
Shake off that disturbing memory by attending the third-annual Red, White & Bluegrass Festival at the Hollywood Broadwalk (Johnson Street and A1A, Hollywood Beach). It begins Friday at 7 p.m. when Audie Blaylock kicks up a stink at the Beach Theatre. This free hootenanny, sponsored by the Miami Herald, KISS Country Radio, and the South Florida Bluegrass Association, also features headliners Melonie Cannon, Pine Mountain Railroad, the James King Band, and dozens more on three stages along the Broadwalk.
While the bands blow your mind like moonshine jugs, take a gander at all the arts and crafts on the Broadwalk and cast your vote for the "Best Pickin' Lickin' Chick'n." This free event continues from noon to 11 p.m. Saturday and noon to 9 p.m. Sunday. Call 954-921-3404, or visit www.southfloridabluegrass.org. -- John Shannon
Wasting Away Again
In Fort Liquordale
The concept is far from unique — an entire lifestyle formulated around being drunk, smoking the reefer, and not wearing shoes. But where greater men failed, Jimmy Buffett succeeded, and for that, the Barefoot Children of Fort Lauderdale Parrot Head Club honors him with its Fourth Annual Water Taxi Pub Crawl on Saturday, May 14. The day starts at the Ugly Tuna (300 SW First Ave., Ste. 206, Fort Lauderdale) at 11 a.m. with drinks and complimentary appetizers. It then moves onto the water as the group water-taxis from bar to bar enjoying drink specials and live music. For those still standing when the taxi reaches its final destination, the Bahia Cabana (3001 Harbor Dr., Fort Lauderdale), there’s a poolside party with raffles, auctions, and music. While the water taxi is sold out, there’s still plenty of Parrot Head partying to do at the pubs. Call 561-251-8732, or visit www.barefootchildrenphc.com. -- Paul A. Leone
Sayonara, Cheese Cubes!
Pikachu takes on Godzilla
Gone are the days when you could lay out a few cubes of cheese, open a bottle of Sutter Home, and expect people to come to your art opening. Luis Alonzo-Barkigia knows this. "Titanes," his art show -- or rather, art spectacle -- is "a one-night sumo wrestling event and Japanese costume party." Put on your Sailor Moon outfit and hustle down to the Moore Building (4040 NE Second Ave., Miami), where painted geisha girls and "demon drummers" will coerce you to try on one of six sumo suits -- Godzilla, Robotech, Pikachu, Superfat, Ang Lee, or Sumo You -- and step into the ring, above which hovers a 5-by-15-by-13-foot sculpture of a floating pagoda. The show lasts from 7:30 p.m. to midnight. Visit www.alonzo-barkigia.com. -- Deirdra Funcheon
It'd Be Beary Nice of You
Remember the tsunami that swallowed some 200,000 people back in December? Well, many kids in Asia are still dealing with the aftermath. Today, make them teddy bears -- for free -- at the Build-a-Bear Workshop in the Coral Square Mall (9581 W. Atlantic Blvd., Coral Springs). The company, in partnership with UNICEF, hopes to "bearlift" 40,000 stuffed bears to young survivors. Call 954-575-0500, or visit www.buildabear.com. -- Deirdra Funcheon