Best New Landmark

Hustler Hollywood

All right, here's how to get to the apartment. Real easy. Drive down I-95 until you get to exit 29, which is Sunrise Boulevard. OK. Now, head east. You'll pass... well, a bunch of stuff. What kind of stuff? Shops, mostly. Fast-food joints. Check-cashing places. Gas stations. No landmarks? Not yet. Keep going, past the car dealerships, past the laundromat. Try not to hit the kids who ride their bikes across the middle of the street. After about two miles, you'll see a huge vertical sign that says "Hustler." It's all red letters with pink-and-purple neon trim. Just opened last year. You absolutely cannot miss it. Take a right at the sign, go two blocks, the apartment is right there. Hustler store. Got it. Sounds easy enough. It is. It's also a decent place to get XXX videos, funny lingerie, blow-up sex dolls, cockrings ($10 each average), and dildos ($20 each average), and once in a while you'll even catch a glimpse of Hustler's frog-faced mogul Larry Flynt crouched behind the counter. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. But the words cockrings and dildos are funny. Go ahead, say 'em. No. C'mon. Diiiildohhhhs. You know, Mom's in the car with me. Never mind.
 
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