Doctor's Orders

South Florida's Smut Doctors broadcast filthy radio to the world

Just then, a short man with black hair and three piercings in his left ear approaches Johnny. He's Max Bravo, director of creative services for the Radiate Group, a marketing company in Boca Raton. "We've got to get together," Bravo tells Johnny as he thrusts over a business card. "The whole beach is talking about you right now."


Johnny and Platypus have big plans for the Smut Doctors. Later this year, Tootsie's Cabaret will move to a new, larger location on the corner of U.S. 441 and Miami Gardens Drive. Current plans have the Smut Doctorsstudio located right in the middle of the club, so patrons can ask questions and become live audience members.

Internet radio is still a long way from the broadcasting big leagues. Banner advertising on SmutDrs.com, mainly for porn-peddling websites and the male-oriented site HornDog.com, generates only enough revenue to cover expenses and the occasional pizza, Johnny and Platypus say. But the pair hopes to hone their skills on the Internet and eventually follow Howard Stern to satellite radio.

"I can't be a strip-club DJ when I'm 50," Platypus says. "I look at this as a training course for radio. Hopefully, one day we could package this thing and sell it or go to a radio station and use this as our résumé."

Johnny and Platypus have an on-air rapport that is effortless and amusing. But like any couple, they have the occasional falling out. During the April 18 show, two weeks after the scavenger hunt, the Smut Doctors taped the weekly segment "Dear John," in which listeners write in questions about their relationships and sex lives. Despite their occasional misogyny, Johnny and Platypus tend to offer good, perceptive advice. One of the letters read during the show is from a male listener questioning whether he should marry a woman who refuses to give him oral sex.

For some reason, Platypus doesn't say anything in response. Johnny wonders why. "What do you think?" he asks of producer Godbee, who's sitting on one of the couches.

"Platypus isn't talking because Mrs. Platypus is outside," Godbee says into the microphone, referring to the sidekick's girlfriend, a petite, pretty Thai-American named Serena, watching from the other side of the studio's glass windows.

"You can't talk about this while your girlfriend's outside?" Johnny asks. "Give me your opinion."

"My opinion's the same as yours," he says. "I'd like to have food for me. I'd like to have my house cleaned. I'd like to get my dick sucked every once in a while, but I don't need it every day. I'm not that crazy, dick-sucking type."

"Plat," sexy Nurse Lisa interjects from the other couch, "do you get those things?"

"I think you're all --" he responds.

"Well, do you?" Johnny interrupts.

Platypus remains silent. He doesn't want to talk about any of this. "Kevin," Johnny says jokingly, "put out an ad for a sidekick -- one with balls."

A few minutes later, Johnny ends the show, then turns to Platypus. "You OK?" he asks earnestly.

"Good show, everybody," the sidekick says as he walks out of the studio, ignoring the question.

Platypus and Serena then go out to talk in the other room. Johnny notices the conversation and shakes his head. "I come off as a big asshole on the air," he admits, laughing.

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