Tailpipe

Go Climb a...

Where the Streets Have No Names

Across South Florida, a revolt is revving. At least, if you believe the Miami Herald.

Last week, the daily newspaper published a story about the demand by many homeowners -- and some politicians too -- to rid themselves of those boring, numbered street names. In Bonaventure Lakes -- a neighborhood in Weston -- it seems that every envelope addressed to SW 34th Street or SW 67th Avenue is a veritable slap in the face.

Weston Mayor Eric Hersh told the Herald in its July 5 story that he "would much rather live on a named street" and that the Glades-suckers of his city recently began studying whether they can make some sort of change in Bonaventure Lakes. Iraq, AIDS, political corruption -- these problems can wait. But not Primrose Lane.

Tailpipe too wishes his street had a pretty handle instead of a faceless number. This catalytic converter realizes, though, that adding a faux-potpourri aroma -- Woodhaven Way -- to a stinker of a neighborhood ain't gonna change a damned thing. So this tube has a few suggestions of his odiferous own for the wealthy Glades-drainers:

Skeeter Circle

Swampgas Way

Cookie Cutter Court

Bland Avenue

Endless Stucco Terrace

Mighty Muggy Drive

Hideous Unfettered Sprawl Trail

-- As told to Chuck Strouse

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