Trance Is for Pussies

And the beat is like catnip

Meatwad Lives

Chris Ward -- known to intellectual stoners everywhere as MC Chris -- is the head of a mysterious consortium that rules the universe from a giant spaceship in the outer reaches of the fifth galaxy. In his spare time, he's also the world's foremost nerdcore rapper, coming down in a squirrelly nasaltone on all sorts of geektastic subjects, such as Boba Fett, manga, Dairy Queen, and cough syrup as a chuggable beverage. Beyond his vast musical accomplishments, he's best-known as the brains and occasional voice behind the megafab, late-night head candy that is Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup, including Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, the Brak Show, and Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Somehow, the Manhattan-dwelling Chicagoan has also found time to graduate from New York University as a screenwriter, take long walks in the park, tour the U.S. in a minivan, drink by himself, and e-mail Outtakes for the most serious Q&A of his life:

Outtakes: What's your sign?

Favorite color: black
Favorite color: black

MC Chris: Virgo. I'm a schedule nut

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Turn-ons: comics, video games, marijuana. Turn-offs: Republicans, turned-up collars, vegetables.

Perfect date?

Comic book store or Six Flags, pad thai, and then some making out on the Staten Island Ferry.

Favorite place to cuddle?

The ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese.

Best cartoon ever?

Tom and Jerry or early Hanna Barbera.

Favorite b-boy stance?

The Run-DMC shoulder hug.

Do you keep it real?

Really stupid.

Do you wreck MCs? Do you put them in a line?

I waste wack MCs like they're fuel in a Hummer.

How many MCs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to get it done and one to get jealous and challenge him.

What's your exit strategy for Iraq?


How hungry are you?

I could eat your face off.

Who's a player?

Milton Bradley.

Who's your nemesis?

That would be the pope. He has some incriminating photos of me buying discount goods in Singapore. -- D. Sirianni

MC Chris performs with Simplekill at 8 p.m. Saturday, July 23, at the Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale. Tickets cost $9.99 advance or $12 at the door. All ages admitted. Call 954-564-1074.

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