This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

 THU 25

In any other business, when someone calls you a wanker with lots of problems, well... them's fightin' words. Of course, comedians take pride in such comments, especially when they come from Angus Young, AC/DC's legendary ax-wielder. Having played a construction worker in one of the band's music videos, comedian Artie Fletcher wears such backhanded compliments with pride. He is, after all, New York City's "Original Bad Boy" (that's what Fletcher calls himself, at least). But that doesn't mean he's limited to playing tough-guy roles; Fletcher played a public school principal on Law & Order and was the warm-up act for Herman's Hermits. Hey, even bad boys have to pay rent. Fletcher performs with Vince Martin tonight through Saturday at the New York Comedy Club (8221 Glades Rd., Boca Raton). Tickets cost $5 to $12. Call 561-470-6887, or visit www.nyccboca.com. (JB)

FRI 26

CircX girls jest wanna have fun.
CircX girls jest wanna have fun.

Think back through the past three weeks. Come on, now -- think deep... see the pattern? Utter boredom, dread, and discomfort. Why? Because it's August and, as improv troupe Gated Community says, August Sucks! "Nothing good happens in August; hurricanes hit, school comes back, and there aren't any holidays," troupe member Jesse Furman laments. Fortunately, Gated Community is here to provide a little comic relief tonight and tomorrow at the Atlantic Theater (6743 W. Indiantown Rd, #34, Jupiter). While the show is mostly impromptu skits based on audience suggestions, the troupe has a few tricks up its sleeve, including a Grease parody about Internet dating (in which a brother and sister unwittingly hook up) and a spoof about death-defying magician David Blaine's illegitimate brother -- the one who's not so lucky. Tickets cost $12 to $15. Call 561-575-3271, or visit www.gcimprov.com. (JB)

SAT 27

"One part circus, two parts burlesque, a pinch of class and a dash of trash." That's how Diana Lozano, founder of CircX, describes her posse of fire-eating, stilt-walking go-go dancers. You might expect this type of entertainment tucked inside a dark fetish club, under a big top, or in Vegas -- but this evening, the show goes on at fancy Swig Bartini in the chi-chi town of Weston (1744 Main St.). A few years ago, Lozano got her master's degree at the California Institute of the Arts and, looking for her big break, went on tour with a band called the Impotent Sea Snakes, only to find out that it was infamous for orgies that broke out during shows. "I thought they were a performance band; they were actually a porno band!" Lozano says. "I was horrified and came home to Miami with my tail between my legs." She got a job as a mere lighting tech at Swig Bartini, and to fight depression, "I'd go on the dance floor and start acting crazy!" The management, intrigued, wondered, "What could this chick do with a budget?" and forked over some cash. The result: a freaky mix of miming, clowning, dancing, pyro, light shows, cabaret, three-foot wigs, fluorescent stockings, and dresses made of feathers. Soon, big clients like Bacardi Limon and Nikki Marina were hiring CircX away. So tonight's show at Swig -- where the troupe has not performed in almost two years -- is a homecoming of sorts. Admission costs $5. Call 305-725-7551, or visit www.circx.com. (DF)

SUN 28

The ancient Greeks couldn't decide exactly which animal parts comprised the mythological beast Chimera. A goat was in there somewhere, but was it the head or the torso? Alas, we'll never know. Chimaira, on the other hand, has modern-day mythologists -- better known as metalheads -- a lot less confused. The elements that make up the Ohio-based six-piece are pretty obvious: complex metal hooks, blistering hardcore beats, and a thin layer of electronics to cap it off. Apparently Chimaira is part Roadrunner too; the band's entire slate of albums (three to date) are on Roadrunner Records. Chimaira keeps the myth alive with All That Remains, Six Feet Under, and 3 Inches of Blood tonight at the Culture Room (3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale). Doors open at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $15. Call 954-564-1074. (JB)

MON 29

We didn't want to pay extra taxes either, so we too were against the state forking over $60 million for the Florida Marlins to build a new stadium. Thank goodness sanity prevailed and the legislature shot down the request in May. (Besides, if we gave the Marlins 60 mil, it should go to godlike pitcher Dontrelle Willis, who makes only $400,000 -- chump change.) While there's no need to pave over more real estate for new digs, it does pain us to see so many empty seats at Dolphins Stadium. So get thy teal-clad self down to Miami for tonight's game against the National League champion St. Louis Cardinals. If you've never been, please know that the stadium forbids weapons, whistles, horns, poles, brooms, umbrellas -- and "hard fruits." The game is at 7:05 p.m., and the Cards are in town through Wednesday. Visit www.floridamarlins.com. (DF)

TUE 30

Don't get too close to Hooper's Nougat -- you might catch something. According to the band, they're "music whores" who are known to "drag out a 1930s church organ to a gig and play funk on it" and whose tunes are "sexy." In addition to their gigs (they have a free one at 7 p.m. Saturday at Huizenga Plaza, on the SE corner of Las Olas Boulevard and Andrews Avenue), band members Chris and Mike, along with their friend Keith, supervise an Open Jam every Tuesday at Tavern 213 (213 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale). Chris also runs a beachfront recording studio/record label called SoundBox records. So they do get around. But don't hate the players; hate the game. Call 954-779-3230, or visit www.myspace.com/soundboxrecords. (DF)

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