SAT 9/10 After an offseason with more drama than a VMA afterparty, the Miami Dolphins finally kick off the 2005 season Saturday, September 10, at Dolphins Stadium (2269 NW 199th St., Miami) against the Denver Broncos. With coaching changes, new personnel, and uncertainty at a number of crucial positions, the opening-day roster has more question marks than the Riddler's wardrobe. But fret not Dol-fans; with expectations for this year's team set lower than Courtney Love's self-worth, the simple fact that they're even fielding a team seems like a small victory.
On the bright side, after a 2004 campaign that resulted in the organization's worst record since 1969, it doesn't look as if it can get much worse. Additions such as Ronny Brown and Gus Frerotte have the potential to make an immediate impact on an offense that ranked near the bottom of the league in every statistical category. As for the Broncos, after a 10-6 season, their most notable move this summer was drafting troubled running back Maurice Clarett in the third round, only to ditch him faster than he could run the 40. And while it may be difficult to fathom, drafting Clarett wasn't even the Broncos' worst offseason move. The game kicks off at 1 p.m., with tickets starting at $25. Call 1-888-FINS-TIX, or visit www.miamidolphins.com. -- Paul A. Leone
Nature tour is best thing on two wheels
SAT 9/10 Looking to do your best Lance Armstrong impression without losing a testicle? Hop on your Schwinn, and come join the Coastal Nature Bicycle Tour in Boca Raton on Saturday, September 10, at Rutherford Park (600 NE 24th St., Boca Raton). The two-hour bike ride will start at 1:30 p.m., taking participants through six Boca Raton city parks, mangrove forests, hardwood hammocks, trails, and wildlife. If that doesn't get the Marjory Stoneman Douglas inside you fired up, you'll also get a taste of the Boca Raton lifestyle as you tear ass through local neighborhoods. The tour costs $45 and is also available on several other dates over the next two months. Goofy-looking spandex outfits are completely optional. Call 561-881-9757. -- Paul A. Leone