This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

 THU 8

In case you missed him two months ago, Flip Orley is back in town this weekend, spellbinding audiences with his brand of trance-inducing comedy. That's not to say Orley's routine is so snooze-errific you'll fall asleep in your chair; the guy's a full-fledged hypnotist. He invites audience members to come on stage and surrender to his powers of suggestion, all for a good laugh. Who knows? Maybe he'll help you quit smoking. Even if you don't think Orley's funny, he has other ways of making you laugh. And the whole room will be watching. Orley performs Thursday through Sunday at the Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theatre (5700 Seminole Way, Hollywood). Tickets cost $15.90. Call 954-981-5653, or visit www.improvftl.com. (JB)

Don't let the pretty eyes fool you; the Corpse Bride's a stalker.
Don't let the pretty eyes fool you; the Corpse Bride's a stalker.

FRI 9

When comedian Mike Epps called us from L.A., we gave him the ultimate test and asked, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" He answered, "'Cause there was a nigga across the street with two biscuits chasing it." Epps, who says he's from "the hood," bases his standup routine on his everyday life. "I talk about my grandmama, the president, going to jail. I've been in the penitentiary before. I'm just a good hustler. No, I'm a bad hustler, 'cause I got caught." Earlier this year, Epps caused a stir by commenting that Dave Chappelle is not from the ghetto and used white writers on his show. But Chappelle called him, and they're cool now. "I don't have beefs," Epps says. He's just here to laugh. "If somebody said I couldn't [work as a comedian] anymore, I'd have a job at the gas station and still make sure I'm funny. This will keep the buzz flowing, just laughing and cracking jokes." The star of Next Friday, Friday After Next, Roll Bounce, and All About the Benjamins asked us to extend an invitation: "I'm coming to Fort La-dee-dah-dee; please everyone come out and let's party," he sing-songs. Actually, he's coming to the New York Comedy Club in the anti-ghetto of Boca Raton (8221 Glades Rd.) tonight and Saturday. Tickets cost $25 to $32. Call 561-470-6887, or visit www.nyccboca.com. (DF)

SAT 10

Way back in 1991, Bubba Ray Dudley came on the wrestling scene with his trademark stutter. Soon, he found his long-lost brother, D'Von. Over the years, the duo made a name for themselves as tag-team legends, and other family members busted out of the woodwork and into the ring -- guys like Big Dick Dudley, Spike Dudley, Sign Guy Dudley, and our favorite, Dances with Dudley. The original two Dudley bros worked their way through the big leagues of wrestling, making inflammatory remarks and smashing women through tables. In 2001, however, they lost their title to The Rock and Chris Jericho, and the WWE recently announced that it would not renew the brothers' contracts this fall. But that's OK; the two will draw a crowd when "The Legends of Professional Wrestling Invade the Davie Bergeron Rodeo Arena" (4271 Davie Rd., Davie) tonight at 7:30. Other stars, like Dusty Rhodes, Terry Funk, and Mick Foley, round out the bill. Tickets cost $15 to $50. Call 941-358-6825, or visit www.wrestlereunionshows.com. (DF)

SUN 11

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (west of 441), amongst pine trees and alligators, there lay a hidden wonderland where speed freaks could race cars like madmen and the smells of high-octane fuel and burnt rubber perfumed the air. Well, the Moroso Motorsports Park (17047 Beeline Hwy., Jupiter) isn't going anywhere, but it might lose its outlaw feel as pink cookie-cutter houses continue to spring up and surround it like an amoeba. Today, catch the Arrigo Dodge Mopar Show, featuring races on the quarter-mile drag strip, a car show, and a swap meet. Spectator tickets cost $15. Call 561-622-1400, or visit www.morosomotorsportspark.com. (DF)

MON 12

So you think it's bad that your ex-girlfriend keys your car, dresses up like a tree and sits outside your window, and generally doesn't get the meaning of "Um, we're broken up now," "I'm just not that into you," or "Please get out from under the bed." Well, fire up that restraining order and be glad you didn't meet the Corpse Bride. In this whimsical, stop-motion, animated film, the character of Victor walks by what he thinks is a stick and puts a wedding ring on it. Alas, the "stick" is the finger of a dead woman poking up through the ground. She jumps up, claims to be his legal wife, and sucks him into the underworld. Apparently, after finishing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, director Tim Burton rounded up his little clique and said, "Hey guys! While we're at it, let's make another gazillion dollars" -- Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Deep Roy provide voices for the Bride and company. The film screens tonight at Cinema Paradiso (503 NE Sixth St., Fort Lauderdale) at 7:30. Call 954-525-FILM, or visit www.cinemaparadiso.org. (DF)

TUE 13

Coldplay. There, the name's been mentioned -- need we say more? Unless you've been asleep under a tree, that's a band name that has been hurled at you quite a lot over the past several months. The British pop-rock phenom -- led by vocalist Chris Martin -- has been hogging the spotlight more than, well -- more than it deserves, frankly. Martin is undoubtedly a solid songwriter, and the band is adept at churning out some good, hummable tuneage like "Fix You" (the second half of it, at least). But Jesus Christ almighty -- they're not the friggin' Beatles! A more sober view of Coldplay acknowledges that, yes, the band is talented, but the rock won't stop turning once Coldplay's gone. Then again, everyone went overly ga-ga for Radiohead and Oasis. Coldplay performs with Rilo Kiley at 8 tonight at Sound Advice Amphitheatre (601-7 Sansbury's Way, West Palm Beach). Tickets cost $35 to $70. Visit www.ticketmaster.com. (JB)

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