By Natalya Jones
By County Grind
By Liz Tracy
By Chris Joseph
By Liz Tracy
By Matt Preira
By Jesse Scheckner
By Michael E. Miller
When I put on makeup, it's...
I'm a dude, dude. Makeup's for chicks. (0 points)
Eyeliner, eyeliner, eyeliner! (2 points)
So much foundation, if I had friends, they'd call me "Pancake." (3 points)
When I open my closet, I see...
Both styles of clothes: Abercrombie and Fitch. (0)
Ratty band T-shirts and a black trench coat. (1 point)
Black, black, black my wardrobe is the same color as my empty soul. (3 points)
My CD collection consists of...
Heavy metal, death metal, angst-metal, and metal-metal. (0 points)
Brooding, tuneless music that makes my dreary heart sing. (2 points)
My favorite hot spot is...
Lurking in a cemetery, crying because my parents didn't name me Lestat. (1 point)
At the club, conniptioning to industrial noise. (2 points)
As far away from humans as I can get. (3 points)
I spend my weekend afternoons... (choose all that apply)
Shopping at Old Navy. (-3 points)
Watching snuff anime. (1 point)
Recovering from Friday night's art show damn you, absinthe! (2 points)
I saw the movies, including that shitty one with the dead singer. (1 point)
A few moons ago. (2 points)
This quiz is interrupting one, in fact. (3 points)
My most common expression is...
(Sigh) "It's all so profoundly pointless." (2 points)
"Leave me the fuck alone, Muggle." (3 points)
"Jesus loves you!" (-1 point)
(-5 to 0 points): You're about as goth as Bill O'Reilly. Which is to say, only a little.
(1 to 8 points): Welcome to Moderate America. Here's your Maroon 5 CD.
(9 to 10 points): You're what's called a Poseur Goth. Put down the mascara, absorb some more Bauhaus, and find another way to piss off your parents.
(11 to 13 points): You're a Functional Goth. You dig the scene, but the makeup is only for impressing all those righteous vampire babes.
(14 to 17 points): You're fullblown Gothicus Mopeosis.Your boss thinks you're a freak, but he lets you slide because nobody else is so willing to clean up after vivisections. As a bonus, your parents think you worship Satan and might be gay. Congratulations you've been ostracized by society.
The New York Dolls play with the Bittercups and the Livid Kittens at 8 p.m. Thursday, October 27, at the Culture Room, Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale. Tickets cost $29.99. Call 954-564-1074.