When a magazine calls itself MaximumRocknRoll and covers bands with names like the Crucifucks and the Meatmen, youd think that its readers would appreciate a little sex, drugs, and free-thinking amid the music reviews. However, ask columnist Mykel Board, and hell tell you otherwise. Since Board joined the MRR crew in 1982, the native New Yorker and natural born shit-stirrer took the concept of punk rock provocation to the next level, challenging not just mainstream values, but those of a supposedly liberated scene. Boards columns are rife with detail about his sexual conquests as well as his uncompromising views toward, well, everything. But this was before the era of Bill Maher (whose old show, Politically Incorrect, once featured Board as a guest), when writing such provocative columns in such a politically militant scene resulted in more than a war of words. Boards no stranger to death threats and ass-beatings at the hands of so-called moralists.
It's strange that some people have complained that I'm amoral, Board says. I hear that a lot. I'm not. My morals are not in tune with most Americans, but I have a very strong moral code. Of course, like most people, I don't always live up to my own standards. That much is obvious in his books Even a Daughter is Better Than Nothing and I, A Me-ist. The former recalls Boards adventures in Mongolia; the latter is a collection of MRR columns from the past two decades, including stories about free sex, cheap sex, and expensive sex, as well as well-honed critiques of the left. As is often the case, when one challenges the left from within, the inevitable cries of traitor drown out actual dialogue. But those who accuse Board of harboring a right-wing agenda forget one of the central elements of conservatism. Right wingers hate sex, Board affirms. Though they may secretly engage in the nasty, they certainly won't support it in any form. But it's this weird combination of perception that thrills me. People see me as some kind of conservative, but all the conservative things they cite would make a real conservative shit in her pants.
Board reads selections from his books Sunday at Maguire's Hill 16 (535 N. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Also performing are the Learning Curve, Nancy Boys, Die Stinkin, Hooples, and Creepy Ts. The show starts at 6 p.m. and includes a BBQ and prizes from CD Collector. Admission costs $3. Call 954-764-4453.
Sun., Jan. 8