The Last Transcript

On his way to political oblivion, Mark Foley works out all the angles.

In an unprecedented journalistic coup, New Times has uncovered the last instant messages that Congressman Mark Foley sent to an underaged congressional page just one day before the news broke that led to his abrupt resignation. The complete text follows (reader discretion is strongly discouraged):

Maf54: are you in your underwear?

Xxxxx: No, I'm trying to get my homework done and mom's yelling at me to get off the computer

Maf54 is LOLing all the way to rehab.
Erik Lunsford/ZUMA
Maf54 is LOLing all the way to rehab.

Maf54: hahaha, you said 'get off.' do i make you horny?

Xxxxx: seriously, this is getting ridiculous... i'm only 16 and I don't even think i'm gay

Maf54: well neither am i if you read the palm beach post...

Xxxxx: yeah i've been wondering why nobody knows you're like a giant perv... lol

Maf54: people know

Xxxxx: but the papers don't even say yer gay at all do they?

Maf54: nope... the post even has a policy not to write about me in that way... im soooo bored... have you ever been to a steam room?

Xxxxx: the post doesn't write about the fact that you're gay even though you're in an anti-gay political party?

Maf54: their political writer, michael e. crowley, told me about the policy... former editor ed sears started it i think... the sentinel and herald don't really write about it either!

Xxxxx: don't you oppose gay marriage and gay adoption

Maf54: do you have any lotion?

Xxxxx: are editors retarded?

Maf54: most of them! when this weekly newspaper new times wrote that i was gay in 2003 the post never even mentioned it...

Xxxxx: when you were running for senate?

Maf54: yeah... the story got around so i had a news conference where i called any question about my sexual orientation 'revolting and despicable'

Xxxxx: if they only knew the half of it... lol

Maf54: then i had to drop out of the senate race... no way florida republicans would nominate me... omigod, they hate fags!

Xxxxx: arent those people ur friends?

Maf54: i told everybody I was dropping out of the race because my dad had cancer

Xxxxx: and the post swallowed it?

Maf54: ha ha ha, you said swallow. most mainstream daily newspapers swallowed it... they'll swallow anything... ur my favorite little stud you know...

Xxxxx: I wear braces, have terrible acne and hardly ever even kissed a girl

Maf54: purrrrrrrfect

Xxxxx: what will you do if you get caught sending e-mails to pages?

Maf54: already have... st. pete times and miami herald know about it

Xxxxx: holy shit — why haven't they written about it?

Maf54: times told me they wouldn't run it because the kid wouldn't allow his name to be published

Xxxxx: they wouldn't normally publish the name of an underage boy who was getting hit on by a congressman, would they?

Maf54: nope (lol)... and tom fiedler who is the exec editor of the miami herald said that since i'd been so "open" with them, they were going to give me the benefit of the doubt

Xxxxx: the miami herald protected you over the kids? unreal... and you still wouldn't even admit you were gay

Maf54: well... i told a reporter named steve rothaus I was gay in 2003... but that was at a gay party and he didn't write about it

Xxxxx: nobody wanted to tell the truth! and fiedler missed the biggest story the herald would have ever broken

Maf54: yeah, right next to gary hart story... guess fiedler's lost some of his umph since he became editor... hey, do you like booze?

Xxxxx: don't really drink much... what about the house leadership? do they know what you do with the pages?

Maf54: yeah... they found out too but denny hastert is in my corner... hey, i'll get you some booze and we can drnk at my house so we don't get busted

Xxxxx: maybe

Maf54: do you like boxers or breefs

Xxxxx: boxers

Maf54: too bad... wanted to imagine u in tidy whitees

Xxxxx: did hastert do anything?

Maf54: besides cover it up? ; )

Xxxxx: yeah

Maf54: not really... like fiedler, all my friends up here in DC gave me the benefit of the doubt

Xxxxx: wow... is this country screwed or what?

Maf54: sure is!

Xxxxx: you voted for the war too. and yer against national health care. you soooo bad!!!!

Maf54: are you bad too? a bad little boy with a great big...

Xxxxx: what about iran?

Maf54: iran... iraq... irockhard... are you yet?

Xxxxx: not very much.

Maf54: what? how big is it?

Xxxxx: the emails and im's you've sent could still get out

Maf54: if it gets to be a big deal i'll just blame alcohol and behavioral problems

Xxxxx: r u an alky?

Maf54: not really... then I'll say I was molested by a priest

Xxxxx: mark, do you relize ur like a fundamentalist christian caricature of a gay man?

Maf54: if that involves an incredibly hard boner, then i plead guilty

Xxxxx: ur a closeted pervert freak who blames liquor and molestation for his "problem" — right-wing bigots are going to use you as a poster boy someday

Maf54: poster boy? mmmmm, i like the sound of that

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